I never knew these were mutually exclusive...
Submitted by Desert Fox on Fri, 02/16/2007 - 6:39pm. Um...
\\\"He had a VAN! And he was STRAIGHT!\\\"

-- Some very astonished-sounding chick in a Hillcrest bar, San Diego
New Here
Submitted by B L Zebub on Sun, 01/21/2007 - 12:04pm. Um...
Am new here.
Hi. Have read your stuff, think its great and would like to contribute!
Don`t quit your day job. Unless your day job is singing.
Submitted by Saint on Thu, 12/28/2006 - 9:49am. Um...
`...So let`s sink another drink,
Before you have time to think,
Cuz baby I wanna go to bed with you....`

--a girl singing loudly and off-key in the next stall, in the restroom of the Billygoat Saloon, Durango, CO. I should note, I saw the girl, and I wouldn`t need booze to hop into bed with her--unless she intended to keep singing when we got there.
Submitted by teenage kicks on Sun, 09/24/2006 - 1:22am. Um...
\\\"don\\\'t tamper with my cupcake.\\\"

-guy to his daughter in starbucks.
Good to know in passing
Submitted by folle immortel on Wed, 09/20/2006 - 2:29pm. Um...
So he has HIV?! ahahahahaha
Not that simple!
Submitted by maritiming on Wed, 07/19/2006 - 4:45am. Um...
\\\\\\\"I don\\\\\\\'t think it\\\\\\\'s that simple! You can\\\\\\\'t just walk into a doctor\\\\\\\'s surgery and say, \\\\\\\"Can you take some of my eggs please?\\\\\\\"
One woman to another walking down King Street in Newtown, Sydney AU
19 May 2006
Submitted by eve on Fri, 05/19/2006 - 10:56pm. Um...
"So, are you from San Francisco?"
"...No, but my fiance is."
"Oh, so you're just here for the Bay to Breakers?"
"I live here."
"Oh, that's great. We're having this party afterwards, you should come. All girls get a thong... in your size... we're taking pictures... you know, to promote our website."
--The world's skeeziest guy, and a girl in the restroom line at Tommy's Mexican restaurant.
April 18 2006
Submitted by Mike on Wed, 04/19/2006 - 7:24am. Um...
"Have you ever seen that Monty Python show?"

"Oh, yeah! He's hilarious."

---two young women in the local grocery store. So close, yet so far...
Don't go in there
Submitted by jcharles on Thu, 04/13/2006 - 10:44am. Um...
"I don't even want to get close to your jpegs, let alone play with them."

- one middle-aged programmer to another, in the cubicle next to me
Because it isn't repetitive enough as it is
Submitted by lalaith on Tue, 03/21/2006 - 1:01pm. Um...
me: ...New York, New York
lady on phone: the city is New York, New York?
me: yes
lady on phone: so that's [street address], city: New York New York, state: New York
me: ...