I don't even want to know.
Submitted by Desert Fox on Thu, 02/23/2006 - 7:08am. Bizarre
"I swear to God! People were throwing *bags* of money at these midget strippers!"

-- some very drunk, obnoxious, loud guy at Shakespeare pub.
Depends on your definition of "really great".
Submitted by Desert Fox on Sun, 02/19/2006 - 11:18pm. Tragic
"So how's your wife?"
"Really great! I'm living in Texas, and she's living in Colorado."

-- Two dealers at the Tucson Gem & Mineral show
Submitted by Desert Fox on Mon, 11/08/2004 - 5:03pm. Um...
"Nobody can understand anything you say! Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Some dude on a bike yelling at someone on his cell phone, San Diego.
Submitted by Desert Fox on Wed, 09/08/2004 - 8:12pm. Bizarre

-- Some gnarly, biker-looking dude wandering around the aisles of Michael's Craft Store
Hell on Earth, anyone?
Submitted by Desert Fox on Tue, 06/15/2004 - 11:23am. Funny
"Hey, how's it going?"
"Oh, all right, I guess. We had kind of a bad week."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Well, I've got this really crappy tenant downstairs right now. He comes home drunk from the bar every night around midnight and starts playing the accordian. Out of tune. To Motown."
"I wouldn't mind it nearly so much if he were in tune."
-- Two guys in a coffee shop, Boulder Creek, CA
'You can't have one without the oooother....'
Submitted by Desert Fox on Thu, 04/29/2004 - 10:27pm. Funny
"I just want a wedding. I don't even want a husband right now. I just want a wedding."

-- Some random chick in a Target store, San Diego, California
Submitted by Desert Fox on Wed, 03/17/2004 - 6:18pm. Scenes
Seen in my neighborhood last night (San Diego, 3/16/04):

A Jeep screeching down a residential road at Mach 2 with Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" blaring from the radio at 120 decibles.

No, I didn't actually measure either of those values.
All I can say about this is "ACK!"
Submitted by Desert Fox on Mon, 03/01/2004 - 2:11pm. Tragic
"Yeah, my sister bought a Harley-Davidson outfit for her chihuahua."

-- some random guy in one of the local bars, talking to his co-worker
A Town of Nakedness
Submitted by Desert Fox on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 4:40pm. Bizarre

--some dude dancing around in the middle of the street yelling on a bullhorn to the crowd heading down to the beach to watch fireworks
Ocean Beach (O.B.), California

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he was on a recreational pharmaceutical or ten.
Kid Logic
Submitted by Desert Fox on Tue, 02/10/2004 - 12:50pm. Funny
A neighbor, who also happens to be a co-worker, is walking up and down the street with his two little kids, the older of whom is on a snazzy, shiny, new bike with training wheels.

Me: "Hey, that's a pretty cool bike! Did you get that for Christmas?"
Kid: "Noooo...."
Me: "Oh, it didn't come from Santa Claus?"
Kid: (looking at me like I'm a total moron) "No, it came from the store!"

OK then.