Don`t quit your day job. Unless your day job is singing.
Submitted by Saint on Thu, 12/28/2006 - 9:49am. Um...
`...So let`s sink another drink,
Before you have time to think,
Cuz baby I wanna go to bed with you....`

--a girl singing loudly and off-key in the next stall, in the restroom of the Billygoat Saloon, Durango, CO. I should note, I saw the girl, and I wouldn`t need booze to hop into bed with her--unless she intended to keep singing when we got there.
Submitted by Saint on Mon, 07/24/2006 - 4:22am. Graffiti
`Somebody NEEDS 2 make a complaint about these dirty restrooms at Customer Service.`

--it would be sort of ironic even if it were written in ink. But no, it was written in shit, on the back of the stall door. Wal-Mart, Cortez, CO.
If they do, sign me up.
Submitted by Saint on Sun, 03/26/2006 - 8:47pm. Beautiful
"Have you given any thought to how you want to spend eternity, son?"
"Actually, yes. But I don't think heaven has a section for rocking out, fucking groupies, and snorting coke."

--a man in a suit handing out flyers outside the train station and a goth-dressed teen stopping to take one. Durango, CO.
Okay, I'll do that.
Submitted by Saint on Tue, 12/20/2005 - 1:59am. Bizarre
"Stop licking my brain!"

--a little boy (four years old, maybe, or five) shouting/sobbing at his mom in the Olive Garden in Grand Junction, CO. His mother seemed to be unperturbed by the outburst.

I'm posting this not just because it's strange, and funny, but so that I can make a comment on Olive Garden. "When you're here, you're family" the commercials say. When's the last time Grandma charged you $12 to eat underdone breadsticks and overcooked noodles? Sheesh. It's just like the Awesome Apple Pies we sell at Wal-Mart, that claim right on the packaging that they're just like Grandma's. Sure, if Grandma was a lousy cook and did her shopping at Wal-Mart, they're probably pretty close.

Also wanted to post a reminder for myself that March 10 is inappropriate link day. Sure, it's three months away, but it's never too early to start preparing.

[edit] *throws up hands in defeat* Okay, IP, I get the hint, I won't bother posting anymore. Christ on a stick. Finally get some posts on the site, and they all get buried under page after page of old stuff. Normally, I don't mind the site amusing itself kicking out old stuff, it's fun to look back and see the classics. But making it impossible for people to find the new stuff is not cool. Alright, so nobody is missing much on my posts, but other people's stuff got buried, too.
So's my ex.
Submitted by Saint on Thu, 11/03/2005 - 8:50pm. Funny
"You're not a whore, damn're, you're a people person!"

--some girl on a cell phone, walking down Main Street, Cortez, CO.
Settling for herpes.
Submitted by Saint on Mon, 10/17/2005 - 11:15pm. Funny
"We really wanted syphillis, but it was already taken. So we got genital herpes instead."

--girls discussing their Sex Ed assignment. I cheated--I found this on another site, rather than overhearing it personally. But it's just too funny, so I'm posting it anyway. Besides, I'm bored. Credit goes to PresidentNINJA! at Gaia Online.
My guess: Drama students
Submitted by Saint on Sat, 09/17/2005 - 8:02pm. Bizarre
"It's a whole new soap opera, kiddies. As the World Burns. And if you don't like it, tough, there's no way to change the channel."

--a very serious-sounding guy, addressing two giggling girls, in Denny's. Durango, CO.
Submitted by Saint on Fri, 08/12/2005 - 11:49pm. Scenes
Seen in Grand Junction, Colo, about two weeks before the start of school:
In the lawn of Martin's Mortuary & Crematory (about a stone's throw from Mesa State), signs stuck into the turf reading, "Escape School".

Underneath, in tiny letters, the signs gave the address to this, which makes it a little less ghastly than it first seemed. I'm still not sure the presentation is saying what they think it does, though.
V as in...
Submitted by Saint on Fri, 08/12/2005 - 11:33pm. Funny
"It's on Road V.... V.... No, V. As in vagina.... Right, yes, V as in Victor, like I said."

--a guy talking on a cell phone, in the Southwest Memorial parking lot. Cortez, CO.

You know, off hand, I'm not sure what the first v-word to come to mind would be. Vendetta, maybe, since I've been browsing graphic novels recently.
I'm not sure pink is their color.
Submitted by Saint on Sat, 07/09/2005 - 12:11am. Funny
"I want to make a rhino habitat."
"Out of doll furniture."
"They're very small rhinos."

--two guys in the toy department at Wal-Mart, surveying the Barbie section. Cortez, CO.