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Because it isn't repetitive enough as it is
Um...
me: ...New York, New York
lady on phone: the city is New York, New York?
me: yes
lady on phone: so that's [street address], city: New York New York, state: New York
me: ...
lady on phone: the city is New York, New York?
me: yes
lady on phone: so that's [street address], city: New York New York, state: New York
me: ...
If I only had a wit...
Funny
Me: *makes a silly joke*
My mom: "I'm going to the bathroom"
Me: "What?! And leave me here with my wit?"
My mom: "I'm leaving you alone, dear"
My mom: "I'm going to the bathroom"
Me: "What?! And leave me here with my wit?"
My mom: "I'm leaving you alone, dear"
I am lost. I have gone out to find myself. If I return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
Um...
"Oh goodness. We're not even near where we are."
~my mother
~my mother
That's the kind of Prohibition I could get behind
Funny
"We were trying to rid the world of alcohol..."
*crowd boos*
"...by drinking it."
*crowd cheers*
~Elvis Costello (at the Chevrolet Amphitheater in Pittsburgh)
*crowd boos*
"...by drinking it."
*crowd cheers*
~Elvis Costello (at the Chevrolet Amphitheater in Pittsburgh)
Not a place for the claustrophobic
Beautiful
"Only in New York [City] can you go into a bathroom stall and think 'Ahh, I finally have some space!'"
~my mom
~my mom
And the towel would have nothing to do with it, I'm sure.
Funny
"My toes look so hot tonight. I could go out in just a towel and my toes and pick up men"
~one of my roommates
~one of my roommates
Now there's a personal ad
Tragic
Girl #1: Boys! Ugh!
Pregnant girl: Yeah. I'm going to get a new boyfriend. He can be my baby's daddy, I need someone new to go out and have fun with.
Pregnant girl: Yeah. I'm going to get a new boyfriend. He can be my baby's daddy, I need someone new to go out and have fun with.
...by telepathy?
Um...
"We are currently experiencing a telephone outage. For emergencies and medical conditions, please call [phone number]."
~an announcement made at the hospital where I work
~an announcement made at the hospital where I work
When plants attack
Funny
"It was a traumatic experience!"
...
"It had such a pretty name, Angel's Trumpet... but no, Flower O Doom."
~my friend, about our trip to Phipps Conservatory. He took a whiff of a giant flower and was rather overcome by it.
...
"It had such a pretty name, Angel's Trumpet... but no, Flower O Doom."
~my friend, about our trip to Phipps Conservatory. He took a whiff of a giant flower and was rather overcome by it.
They may reject my invitations to lunch after that
Um...
"...I can still hang out with my friends, which is good."
"Yeah, you can put them on sandwiches"
-me on the phone with my friend, who was in the grocery store with her mom
"Yeah, you can put them on sandwiches"
-me on the phone with my friend, who was in the grocery store with her mom