"Holy Lorelai, Batman!"
- My response to my friend's telling me his boss owned four coffee makers. Lorelai is Lorelai Gilmore of Gilmore Girls whose known, among other things, as being a coffee addict and it woudln't surprise me to learn she had four of the things. My friend cracked up nicely at this remark.

"I'll have a Grey Goose on the rocks, please."
"And I'll have another one of these."
"Is it empty, even?"
"Oh, it's not. But now it is. Tell you what, I'll hold onto this one until you get back."
"I know you types. Used to having something in your hand."
--Two guys and a waitress at Bliss Bar.

"I don't care, does either site end in a .ca?"
"Screw the Canadian economy I'm going to kill this wine."
"Was that one sentence or two?"
--Two guys sitting with laptops and a bottle of wine at Darbar

"Next time you talk to him, mention that that workflow is a spawn of Satan. Uh-huh. No, we have proof. We have proof."

- a co-worker in the next row, this morning

"You're not a whore, damn it...you're, you're a people person!"

--some girl on a cell phone, walking down Main Street, Cortez, CO.

"We really wanted syphillis, but it was already taken. So we got genital herpes instead."

--girls discussing their Sex Ed assignment. I cheated--I found this on another site, rather than overhearing it personally. But it's just too funny, so I'm posting it anyway. Besides, I'm bored. Credit goes to PresidentNINJA! at Gaia Online.

"We were trying to rid the world of alcohol..."
*crowd boos*
"...by drinking it."
*crowd cheers*

~Elvis Costello (at the Chevrolet Amphitheater in Pittsburgh)

A conversation between myself and my friend "A" over the newly released film, Domino.
ME: I dunno, I'm not much intersted in seeing it.
A: You just don't like British women with guns.
ME: I don't MIND them...
- For "A", women with guns and/or who are British will usually sell him on seeing the movie.

A conversation between myself and my manager, E, one day while at work:
E: Hey, did (the owner) come in today?
ME: Yeah, he already left though.
E: Oh, he must be getting ready for his wedding.
ME: He said he had an appointment he couldn't get out of.
- Of particular note is that I did not intend that to be a joke. I don't know what it was he left for, but those were my boss' exact words to me.

Me: "X-Play gave 'Star Fox: Assault' a review... They didn't like it too much."
Thunderman: "What?! Why not?!"
Me: "They said that Fox McCloud was terrible out of his space craft."
TM: "WHAT?! He's great out of that thing! He can duck behind stuff and blow up people!"
Me: "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Fox?"
TM: "Hidden Fox with Rocket Launcher!!!!"

- X-Play is a show on G4 that reviews games and gives them a score. I love this show. Thunderman was angry because they didn't like this game (I think they gave it a 2 out of 5...) When he's angry, he's funny!