Mystery Science Theatre: Eragon Edition
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Fri, 12/22/2006 - 11:57am. Funny
*Eragon is walking over to something that looks like a small chest on a table.*

\\\"Dear Eragon, enclosed are your cousin\\\'s testicles.\\\"

*Eragon removes the cloth covering to reaveal that it is actually a book.*

\\\"Dear Eragon, enclosed is a picture of your cousin\\\'s testicles, which we have removed.\\\"

*Eragon opens the book, to reveal text and pictures of dragons.*

-slight pause-

\\\"Dear Eragon, enclosed is a description of how we removed your cousin\\\'s testicles!\\\"

-My boyfriend, Sean, doing Mystery Science Theatre type commentary on the new movie Eragon. What made it even more hilarious for me was the fact that I was going to say the last one, but he beat me to it!
...Wise Beyond His Years...
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Thu, 12/21/2006 - 6:56pm. Wisdom
\"Please, tell me! I\'ll understand! Please don\'t make me tell you what I know. My mind is a scary place!\"

-One of my best friend\'s (James) 11 year old cousins. My boyfriend whispered a kind of... Um... Off joke, and he REALLY wanted to know. Being reponsible adults *cough, cough* we didn\'t tell him.

\"You\'re a part of the family now? May God have mercy on your souls!\"

-That same cousin, named Steven, a bit later on that night in response to James telling my boyfriend, Sean, and me that we were part of the family now.
Mugged In Broad Daylight
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Fri, 12/15/2006 - 8:13am. Ironic
Rob: \"Did you speak to Kayla recently?\"
Me: \"No... Why?\"
Rob: \"Because if you did, you would have heard that I got mugged.\"
Me: \"Oh, my God!!!! When and where?\"
Rob: \"Hylan Blvd. in broad daylight. Everyone just kept stepping over me. Nobody helped at all.\"
Me: \"Oh, man... I\'m so sorry, dude. Did they take anything?\"
Rob: \"Yeah. My Sidekick.\"
*I start laughing uncontrollably*
Rob: \"I\'m just going to assume that you\'re laughing because my Sidekick was broken anyway, and not because you\'re a total uber-b*tch.\"

-Hylan Blvd. is a very busy road that stretches to both ends of Staten Island, NY... And, yes, that is why I laughed.
I can't believe he actually yelled that....
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Sun, 04/09/2006 - 7:44pm. Funny

-My ex, yelling at the top of his lungs after he and his friends stated what the Captain Planet elements were, using their newly obtained large rings. He's the quiet, shy type, so I was shocked and considerably amused.
"I thought Pikachu was Japanese...."
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Thu, 04/06/2006 - 6:07pm. Bizarre
Lee: "So, I had this dream that I was at a Chinese restaurant and Pikachu was on the menu..."
Jess: "But Pikachu is Japanese!"
Lee: "I thought Pikachu was Japanese...."

-I was over my friend, Jess's house watching her play "Silent Hill 2". Her friend, Lee, was over as well and she got bored and called Jess's and her other friend, Kim, and this popped up in the conversation.-
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 03/29/2006 - 8:13pm. Funny
"It's the end of the world and I'm stoned!!!"

- A man yelling in the back of a church.

(I don't have to even make a sarcastic comment or tell a story for this one!)
My friend's neighbor's name...
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 03/29/2006 - 7:57pm. Tragic
I almost didn't believe her when she first told me. Her neighbor's name is Dick Hurts. This is where I'd like to think I'm mature enough not to laugh, but COME ON!

Also, I recently laughed in the middle of an english class in which we were reading "The Crucible." The text said "the Devil's teat." I am such a child...
This was from last winter, but, aw, well...
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 03/29/2006 - 7:38pm. Scenes
"Do you enjoy snow up your hosiery?"

-My friend, Monique, comenting on my colliding with a friend and falling on my @$$... No, seriously. I colided with my friend, Gina. Funny story, actually... We were running toward each other, when we realized that there was snow on the ground and we wouldn't be able to stop... We collided. Don't worry about Gina, though, I broke her fall... I was wearing stockings and a skirt that day. And the answer to the question above is no... Not at all...
WTF? Hahahaha
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Wed, 03/29/2006 - 7:23pm. Beautiful
"It's a beautiful day! I don't want to be trapped inside, looking at infected genitalia!!!"

- My friend in my school's cafeteria... Unfortunately for me, I heard it from the half-way point in the conversation... *shudder*
Submitted by Sephiroths_Slave on Fri, 11/18/2005 - 6:05pm. Bizarre
"You are in violation... Of the la-aw!"

"Leave your sass... At the do-or!"

-My friend Christiann... It would be much funnier if you actually KNEW her and heard when she said that!