10 December 2005
Submitted by eve on Sat, 12/10/2005 - 5:36pm. Funny
"I'll have a Grey Goose on the rocks, please."
"And I'll have another one of these."
"Is it empty, even?"
"Oh, it's not. But now it is. Tell you what, I'll hold onto this one until you get back."
"I know you types. Used to having something in your hand."
--Two guys and a waitress at Bliss Bar.
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Posted by hypoxic on Mon, 01/30/2006 - 5:44am.
Any comments about absinthe?

I'm wondering what all the hubbub is about.
Posted by Matt on Mon, 01/30/2006 - 7:11pm.
Couldn't comment much about absinthe in particular (except to say it's well known to have a very strong, unpleasant taste right out of the bottle), but the closest legal thing is Chartreuse (verte, of course), which is a 110-proof liqueur of 107 different herbs, all part of a closely-guarded Charte monk recipe.

I remember one time, I was sitting along in my room, sipping on my third or fourth glass (not shot, but actual glass: tumbler-size) of the stuff while watching TV when suddenly, I realized I was actually standing about three feet behind myself and off to the right, watching myself watching TV.

And no; I don't think the fact that they were Marilyn Manson videos (Dead To The World tour) had anything to do with it.

So yeah. Good stuff. Then again, a friend of mine drank his Chartreuse too quickly and spent the next four hours chronically vomiting, followed by uncontrollable dry heaving.
"Wormwood, wormwood...."
Posted by Desert Fox on Mon, 01/30/2006 - 10:58am.
I know it's Artemisia absinthium in the Asteraceae (sunflower family). Lycaeum is my personal favorite drug reference site. Not that I'd ever, you know, USE any drugs. Nope, nope. Not me.

That's some interesting timing.
Posted by Mike on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 12:59pm.
Time to pour some Grey Goose on the curb in memoriam.
Posted by copperhead on Fri, 01/13/2006 - 1:28am.
okay if i cycle it through my body before pouring it on the curb?

i went to war for my country and all i got was this lousy stump.
Weird liquor laws
Posted by Desert Fox on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 6:37pm.
This makes me think of when I was in southern Utah back in October. One of the many weird liquor laws was that you can only have one drink on the table at a time. If you order a second drink, and they bring it before you've polished off the first one, they'll stand there next to your table with your second drink until you chug down the first one.

A couple other weird ones:

You can only order a pitcher of beer or a bottle of wine if more than one person is drinking. Of course, one person can order four glasses of wine or beer in a row, but you can't get it all at once!

In restaurants, you can only have alcohol if you also order food. Chips and salsa don't count as food, but nachos do. Who on earth decides these things?


"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Posted by Matt on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 10:08pm.
They're decided by weirdo religious people with too much time on their hands. Similar to, I'm pretty sure, the people who decided that any beverage over a certain abv (alcohol by volume or, as my best friend and I like to call it "octane rating") is relegated to a state-owned liquor store, with limited operating hours.

I'm fairly certain any beer over 4.5% (or is it 5%?) abv is classified as "malt liquor" and subject to some really stringent laws in Utah.

Just as a reference, Corona Extra and MGD are 4.5%, while standard Budweiser is 5%. It's conceivable that Anhei$er Bu$ch would make a special Utah recipe.
Posted by Saint on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 1:23am.
Utah is full of dumb laws. Then again, so are most states. And countries. And, well, human history, really.

(Why is it only a $500 fine to detonate a nuclear weapon within the city limits of Chico, CA? And who collects that fine?)

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
And looking at the Missouri laws
Posted by umrguy on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 2:59am.
I'm in trouble. I apparently owe back taxes of four dollars, plus penalties I'm sure, for being single. (Unless I can get a dollar off for the six months I had a girlfriend during that time.)

And that law against oral sex probably could be troublesome as well.

If it's *not* illegal to speed, why do the cops still issue tickets?

As far as the Utah laws: "You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3." More than 3 *what*?

(Probably) Only California would feel the need to guarantee sunshine for the masses...

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
And the number of the counting shall be 3.
Posted by Saint on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 7:58am.
I wondered about the '3' thing, too. On further investigation, they apparently mean percentage; I live in a state where "[i]t is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3." Local convenience stores and grocery stores sell 3.2, does that mean we're all breaking the law? On the upside, it's legal to tear the tags off pillows and mattresses. Whew. Was really worried about going to jail for that one....

In other news, my friend Jonesy has decided to either stay indoors after midnight or camp outside of cities if he ever returns to the UK, as you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight. But he's relieved to know that you may not shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close.

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
Posted by umrguy on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 2:56am.
I would imagine that it would have to be somebody outside the city limits of Chico, CA, who collects that $500 fine. Unless it's a really small weapon, and Chico's a much bigger town than I imagine...

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by ParU on Sat, 01/14/2006 - 4:20pm.
Chico's where all the wild Naugas that are skinned to make Naugahyde come from. (in memorium, Herb Caen).
And the $500 fine is for the absolutely silly 'nuclear free zone' bit that some city councils like to waste time on. It'd be nice if they actually knew what's meant by a nucleus of an atom, but I doubt that any of them ever passed High School Chemistry.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Matt on Sat, 01/14/2006 - 6:46pm.
Yeah, my mom and I have a theory that in the 70s and early 80s, genocidal-level killing of herds of Naugas for their skins has brought them to near-extinction.

And neither of us have the slightest clue who Herb Caen (was, apparently).
Herb Caen?
Posted by ParU on Sun, 01/15/2006 - 9:52pm.
Matt - seriously??? You don't know who Herb Caen was? And you live in the Bay Area? Get thee to Google my friend. The man was a Bay Area Legend and his connection to Chico (and Naugas and Velvetta) is also legendary.

I suppose you're not sure who Horace Greely was either. Nor Mark Twain?

You DID graduate from Cal, didn't you?


It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Monk on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 9:42am.
If I could drink in moderation....I do it ALL the time!

So I quit drinking. Seemed easier on my cars. How is everyone?

So.....it goes under the bay???
Monks Brew Their Own...
Posted by Ameroogie on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 2:02pm.
...how else can you explain those haircuts?

I won't do the whole "fontal labotomy / bottle in front of me thing"...(I guess I just did, dang), but can't pass up the opportunity to applaud yet another post on IP.
Posted by Saint on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 2:25pm.
It must be "out of the woodwork" day. Haven't seen you guys in months. (Come to think of it, I've never seen you guys, but that's neither here nor there.)

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
Posted by umrguy on Wed, 01/25/2006 - 8:34am.
I *have* seen Monk. And I have the pictures to prove it.

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
How did you know i've been hi
Posted by Monk on Tue, 01/24/2006 - 1:08pm.
How did you know i've been hiding in woodwork? Uncomfortable at best!

anyway - yes, i have returned. The parade shall start tomorrow.

and your mileage may vary.

So.....it goes under the bay???
Posted by Apple on Tue, 01/24/2006 - 3:37pm.
It'll be the new Mardi Gras!
Complete with...
Posted by Ameroogie on Thu, 02/02/2006 - 8:54am.
Hamsters, in honor of Monk's return and his admiration of little fuzzy things.
Posted by Mia on Thu, 02/02/2006 - 4:10pm.
Not all hamsters are fuzzy. Most of them could be termed sleek, correct?
Posted by Monk on Fri, 03/31/2006 - 10:56am.
ah mia. The queen of sleekness. ;)

So.....it goes under the bay???
Worms (see Can: Open)
Posted by Jon on Fri, 02/03/2006 - 1:24pm.
Heh. Heh heh.

- My mind is in the gutter, but it keeps out the bad weather.
Posted by Matt on Fri, 02/03/2006 - 8:06pm.
Well done, Mia. Well done indeed.
Posted by Saint on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 9:31am.
This makes four out of the last five quotes from Eve that involve alcohol. Google ads are going to get all judgemental again, I just know it.

I like to hang onto my glass after the drink is finished, because I typically drink Jack and Coke, and I like to eat the ice. If there was no ice, I would happily surrender the glass, though. And, just wondering, is my mind the only one that took the waitress's comment into the gutter?

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
Of course not!
Posted by steff on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 1:45pm.
all of us took that comment into the gutter! well... i did, anyway.

the reason i tend to hang onto my glass in a bar is because i'm just a teensy bit paranoid.
Pimpity, pimpity, pimp
Posted by steff on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 6:34am.
so. while you're all here ogling this shiny new comment... i'm going to hijack the thread for my own evil porpoises and promote a couple of livejournal communities.

in the international story a day group, or isadg - there's some backstory that i won't bore you with, but what it boils down to is that someone (me, until logan regains internet access) posts a random title, and everyone else (again, at this point, just me) writes a short story with said title. no pressure, no expectations of greatness as it's a top-of-the-head type of thing, just encouraging people to get some words out on a regular basis. i would just very much like to read someone's stories other than my own.

if you don't want to write, feedback is also always welcome to any of us, even on the older stories. if you don't want to write more than once a week, or even more than once at all, stop by anyhow and choose a title. it'll be good for you. i was (and still am, really) having a blast doing this, but it's more fun when you get to see the different ideas for the same title.

please. i am begging you, people. and, oh, did i mention "begging"?

the second community is the bachelor's cookbook, moderated by our very own umrguy, and is for recipes, tips, and menus for 1-2 people of dubious cooking skills/motivation. those of you who don't cook for an army and can't afford to eat out for every damn meal know what i'm talking about. get over there. leave recipes. share tricks. request recipes or ideas. offer to cook food for the opposite sex. hell, offer to cook for the same sex, we're not picky.

thank you. we can all go back to talking about alcohol, now. *grin* i'll be cutting up limes...
Posted by Saint on Fri, 08/11/2006 - 10:34am.
Pimping it didn`t help that much, eh?

Everything okay for you? You\'ve been terribly quiet (well, here, and there, and at CITYBagel, anyway) lately.
OK can mean so many things...
Posted by steff on Sat, 08/12/2006 - 8:04am.
but, yeah, i\\\'m all right, appreciate you asking. =) i am stressed, but who isn\\\'t?

i haven\\\'t been writing all that much lately, sadly, and the titles have stopped coming. i meant to reply to a few new stories that popped up there in the past month or so, and just... haven\\\'t. *hangs head* i\\\'ve become a slum-pimp. *grin*

i am still posting at my livejournal. well. occasionally. sooner or later, my act, she will get together, and then i can start bugging everyone again.

i suspect there are far too many apostrophes in this post for it to be readable. little bastards, anyway.
Posted by Saint on Sat, 08/12/2006 - 4:18pm.
It`s okay, no replies necessary. I was just wondering about your absense, because I tend to go quiet when I`m feeling blue.
Turn your blue another shade?
Posted by Jon on Wed, 08/23/2006 - 1:31pm.
Hope you are feeling another color, steff. Chartreuse?

- My mind is in the gutter, but it keeps out the bad weather.
Further thread-jacking
Posted by Saint on Tue, 01/17/2006 - 10:22pm.
For no good reason, I present the SCA evil plan generator. Yes, it's just like every other evil plan generator. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
A real timesaver
Posted by marinerd on Wed, 01/18/2006 - 12:32pm.
Thanks, Saint, for the evil plan generator. Now I know just how to have countless hordes of lawyers flocking to do my bidding (dressed as pirates, of course)! It's just a matter of time, now...

Down with the soulless minions of orthodoxy!
Double post
Posted by marinerd on Wed, 01/18/2006 - 12:31pm.
sorry about that!

Down with the soulless minions of orthodoxy!
Posted by Saint on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 2:28pm.
So...steff does know where the shift key is. ;) I like your stories, but I'm not much of an on-demand writer, so I think I'll stick to reading.

As long as we're hijacking, by the way, let me take the chance to announce that, for the dream thread's 4th anniversary on January 27th, everybody will be expected to post a dream. It doesn't hurt, I promise. And don't pretend you can't find it, it's right here. I now return you to your regularly scheduled In Passing, while I go finish watching Buckaroo Banzai.

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
My indoor voice
Posted by steff on Sat, 01/14/2006 - 8:14pm.
of course i know where the shift key is. i'm just... well, several years of data entry on various non-case-sensitive systems makes one lazy. and i don't shout.

thank you muchly. if you just like to watch, that's great too, although i should point out that i didn't think i was much of an on-demand writer either (and i think that most of those stories probably back me up on that). it's just nice to know that someone's following it, you know?

i'll be there on the 27th. promise.
More gutter
Posted by Jon on Thu, 01/19/2006 - 6:32am.
When steff wrote "if you just like to watch"... it made feel much more like a stalker. :-p

Also, case-sensitive systems can suck. I'm just saying.

- My mind is in the gutter, but it keeps out the bad weather.
I like to watch
Posted by Saint on Mon, 01/16/2006 - 9:21am.
In a garden, growth has its season. There are spring and summer, but there are also fall and winter. And then spring and summer again. As long as the roots are not severed, all is well and all will be well.

I'm betting that the only people who will post a dream on the 27th are you, Mike, and myself, and that's assuming we all remember. And have working computers and internet access. :)

--I am powerless over my addiction to parenthesis.--
Posted by Matt on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 10:18pm.
If you're cutting up those limes with the intention of extracting the juice, you can save yourself a lot of effort by just cutting them in half, then jam a spoon into the center of the lime as you rotate madly, augering as much juice as possible out of said lime for whatever nefarious culinary purpose you've devised.

Huge help when I made 5 lbs. of guacamole for a barbecue.
Posted by steff on Thu, 01/12/2006 - 5:39am.
i was cutting them up with the intention of having them with tequilla. to go with the alcohol discussion. you see.

in case of "nefarious culinary purposes", i'm far more practical. the juice comes in cute little bottles, it does.
Only a test
Posted by steff on Wed, 01/11/2006 - 6:10am.
i used to know a guy who used the phrase "another of these" to calculate how big the tip would be, depending on whether the waiter/waitress just knew what he had, had to ask him what it was, or got it wrong.
Posted by hypoxic on Tue, 01/10/2006 - 11:02pm.
oh that's a bad one. when I'm up to get seriously smashed I drink goose shaken with a twist. After that it's black out time. I don't do that anymore.

Is anyone else surprised that they made it past 25? Cause I'm serious, the stupid shit I used to do...

Ok no more incriminating stuff :)
Posted by Matt on Tue, 01/10/2006 - 9:15pm.
That. Is. Awesome!

I... I've been that guy. Beer, and I make it a point to always know the name of what I'm drinking, but yeah. I should really stop now before I'm in danger of an overshare.
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