13 May 2006
Submitted by eve on Sat, 05/13/2006 - 10:56pm. Funny
"My excuse is that I frontload my pricklyness, so girls just run from the beginning. What's your excuse for losing them after date three?"
--One guy to another at Red Box Sushi.
5 May 2006
Submitted by eve on Fri, 05/05/2006 - 10:22pm. Funny
"Is there a xylophonist in Broken Social Scene?"
"Probably. There's three of everything in that band."
"I could play the theremin. Can I be in Broken Social Scene?"
"You probably already are."
--A girl and a guy at Blue Bottle Coffee
30 April 2006
Submitted by eve on Sun, 04/30/2006 - 2:02pm. Funny
"There are a few in the city that're open 24 hours, but they're in weird places. Like not by the clubs, or by UCSF, but down on 8th and Market, UN Plaza."
"Maybe there are visiting dignitaries flying in, need their Starbucks at 3 in the morning?"
"Maybe you haven't been to UN Plaza. I think the only diplomats there are from Cracklandia and Heroinlund."
"I think it's Heroinistan now. Political upheaval after the last election."
--A girl and a guy at La Note
26 February 2006
Submitted by eve on Sun, 02/26/2006 - 12:24pm. Funny
"That would be more like performance art. And possibly a felony."
--A guy talking to another guy on BART.
1 February 2006
Submitted by eve on Wed, 02/01/2006 - 10:33pm. Tragic
"Missouri! Missouri's a state!"
"One of the fifty, yes."
"No, seriously, I haven't thought of Missouri in five years. It's just not a state that comes up. Even Iowa's more popular. What's a city in Missouri?"
"Biloxi. Oh, shit, that's Mississippi. St. Louis."
"I've even been to St. Louis. I changed planes there. I think I thought it was St. Paul. Minneapolis, you know?"
--A girl and a guy at Dona Thomas
25 January 2006
Submitted by eve on Wed, 01/25/2006 - 10:53pm. Funny
"Hey, sorry that took so long. I guess she's fighting with Marie again and needed someone to talk to and... yeah."
"It's ok, I killed time by waiting for the bathroom."
"Oh, good. I was worried you'd be mad that I ditched you."
"I was about to say, it's not your fault, you need a device that detects if a phone call is going to be an hourlong dramafest. But... you do have caller ID."
--Two girls in the crowd at the Harvey Danger show at the Crocodile Cafe

(Editorial disclaimer -- this one was actually from a few months back, I found it written on a napkin in my bag yesterday. I wish there'd been a HD show more recently. But if I dated it back this summer, it wouldn't show up on the front page, and then most people would never see it.)

(Also, you should check out Harvey Danger's latest album, which they're offering as a free download. You should check it out because it's free, and because it's pretty brave of an established band to try that -- but bands don't make money on albums, labels make money on albums (and then they sue the fans who have mp3s.) You should also check it out because they are rad, and their lyrics are smart and their melodies pretty. If you turned on a radio in 1998, you know Harvey Danger, but they've got more depth than just a one hit wonder. Case in point how good they are? I flew to Seattle just for their concert.)
9 January 2006
Submitted by eve on Mon, 01/09/2006 - 10:28pm. Funny
"Soon as that came in, it's like, 'Starbucks? No, I don't drink that stuff anymore. I'm goin' to Albertson's! You want a cupcake honey?' It's a whole marketplace in there. Even a dry cleaner. That's how they get ya."
--A cab driver, talking on his cell phone
16 December 2005
Submitted by eve on Fri, 12/16/2005 - 1:03pm. Tragic
"If you want to take your coat off, I want you to feel comfortable."
"We're not going to be here long."
"Right. You should know though, people've have said this before. I'm here for the connections. You should know that. Whether I'm a contractor or not, seemingly abc, round or quad or non, I understand your needs. I see your operations. I see your operations. Shame on them, for not giving you the respect."
"It's bullshit."
"It's totally bullshit. You need to know that. Your company, you're not that small. I give the same service to a guy who has ten thousand on his account every month. You need to know that."
"Wish you'd give me the same cheap rate you give him."
"You know who was my last client? Oprah."
--Two men in suits sitting on BART
10 December 2005
Submitted by eve on Sat, 12/10/2005 - 5:36pm. Funny
"I'll have a Grey Goose on the rocks, please."
"And I'll have another one of these."
"Is it empty, even?"
"Oh, it's not. But now it is. Tell you what, I'll hold onto this one until you get back."
"I know you types. Used to having something in your hand."
--Two guys and a waitress at Bliss Bar.
27 November 2005
Submitted by eve on Sun, 11/27/2005 - 8:09pm. Funny
"I don't care, does either site end in a .ca?"
"Screw the Canadian economy I'm going to kill this wine."
"Was that one sentence or two?"
--Two guys sitting with laptops and a bottle of wine at Darbar