16 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Fri, 04/16/2004 - 8:07am. Funny
"I'm not the one taking pictures of mannequins all day."
"Mamma, they won't even look at your auction unless you've got a picture, and if I'm the one wearing them in the demo, how can I say they're unworn?"
"But somehow the mannequin wearing it doesn't count as wearing it? I just don't like the thing, it was too expensive."
"The only thing cheaper was inflatable."
--A girl and her mother wandering around a clothing shop.
13 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Tue, 04/13/2004 - 9:53pm. Funny
"His phrasing is weird, it's offbeat. He's not pausing at the commas. Hear that? Wait a minute... Dude, he's pausing at the big words."
--A girl watching Bush's press conference on the TV in the lobby of my hotel.
11 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Sun, 04/11/2004 - 9:47pm. Funny
"I've always got to do what the register says. What if the register says something that's wrong? All customers are the same."
"No, all addition and subtraction is the same."
"Your lattes are all the same."
--Two apparently disgruntled Starbucks employees.
8 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Thu, 04/08/2004 - 12:01am. Um...
"And that's what I'm saying. What do you worry more about, social security or printer problems?"
--One guy talking to another, waiting for the elevator.
7 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Wed, 04/07/2004 - 8:54pm. Beautiful
"We need a dolphin with opposable thumbs."
"The combination of a dolphin and a monkey should do it, then."
"Hell of a love child."
"You have not been trained to think that way, so you don't. But I see it."
--Two guys who appear to be doing more drinking than eating at the hotel restaurant.
7 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Wed, 04/07/2004 - 8:40pm. Um...
"You know how they talk about jobs keeping people off the street? Why do they always say that about guys working at the YMCA, or at the bus station? My job's keeping me off the street too, and literally."
--A man in a suit and tie talking on a cell phone in the lobby of my hotel.
5 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Mon, 04/05/2004 - 8:36pm. Funny
"You really don't want me pissing people off right now. I get that."
"I don't want you pissing people off ever, and that's what I think you're not getting."
--Two guys talking near gate 20 at SFO
2 April 2004
Submitted by eve on Fri, 04/02/2004 - 8:21pm. Funny
"I never get why they make you take Algebra 1, then Geometry, then Algebra 2. It's like they're trying to make you forget. Like when you're trying to remember a phone number and some ho starts saying '9... 72... 13... 4...' Just like that. I hate Geometry."
"I hate Tammi."
--Two teenage girls at the bus stop on Ashby
31 March 2004
Submitted by eve on Wed, 03/31/2004 - 11:54pm. Funny
"Why are you chuckling at Bakersfield? I always thought it was such a nice name for a place. Baker's Field. Like Candyville."
--Kevin Smith, at Zellerbach Hall.
26 March 2004
Submitted by eve on Fri, 03/26/2004 - 12:46am. Funny
"I totally have the first ipod."
"What are you even talking about?"
"What? How?"
"Where by 'first', I mean, 'first generation.' Metonymy."
"That's not Metonymy."
"I said one thing meaning another."
"I also do that when I lie."
--A guy and a girl