"Well, wear clothes you can move in, and if you're going to wear pants, get a rubber band for the right cuff."
"Yeah, I was planning on wearing shorts, which solves that. But not boxer shorts. That's the wrong kind of able to move."
"You're never having children, you know that, right? Briefs supposedly impair that."
"Yeah, yeah, that's not a bad thing." *turning to walk off*
"That doesn't count as birth control!"
--A girl and a guy outside the Cheeseboard.

-------------------------------

Yeah, I should post more. See previously cited problems of working too much and interacting with the non-work (and therefore quotable) world too little. Working on it, though, don't give up on In Passing just yet...

"And I'm like, 'Do you realize that I practically eat tomatoes for a living?'"
--A man in the dairy section at Andronico's, talking on a cell phone.

"Apparently he had to talk her out of naming the baby Nintafiv."
"Is that... Norwegian?"
"No, Nintafiv -- like, "nine to five", I think. But then it was a boy, and he convinced her that would be too cruel."
"Isn't she actually Norwegian, though?"
--Two women talking outside Thai House

"I say the directions were underspecified."
"Yes, but since I was the one who said, 'get a room', I thought you'd realize that I didn't mean mine."
--Two girls talking at Andronico's

"I hate to say it, but have you considered transferring your affections to a team with less of a suck factor? "
"No, see, that's the problem. Once the local guys lose, then I automatically root for whoever's the underdog."
"Oh, so you're screwed by design, then. You should reconsider that. Might be a less frustrating experience."
--A girl and a guy at Andronico's

"Oh, sure. Go on, invoke that wrath. Brilliant."
--A guy to a girl at Mars

"How was the party?"
"We had two different girls, and one guy who dressed as Ashlee Simpson. Brown wig and a tape recorder."
"Oh. Closet fans in mourning."
--Two guys at Safeway

You probably don't need me to remind you, but...

VOTE

Voting! It's so hip, and yet so worthwhile. You can find out where at this site, or at this site if the first one is overloaded.

"At first I thought he was high, but it turned out he was just a Scientologist."
"Huh. I don't really know much about them."
"Oh, there's a lot there. I thought you were the religion guru?"
"No, the only unusual religions I really know a lot about are the ones that South Park has made fun of."
--Two guys talking on AC Transit

"Yeah, I was woken up at 4am when her boyfriend went to the bathroom. I tell you tall guys? Farther to fall, much louder in the bowl. I'm serious."
--A girl talking at the next table over at Tsing Tao

"People never say, 'oh yeah, remember that cult I was in? I met her there.'"
--A guy talking on a cell phone at SFO

"When he said he wouldn't recommend French wine out of protest I was like, fine, and I'll have a side of freedom fries to go with that. But then when he said that real mulled wine had pineapple and maraschino cherries in it I was like, dude, go on hating the French. Because they all hate you for what you've done to vin chaud."
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.

"Sure, for values of 'neat' that involve you not getting your security deposit back."
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st

"Did you see that? What that Hummer just did? Why do I get moving violations and that guy zooms off?"
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st

"So this girl today... she was totally my type."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba

"Let me put it to you this way, bottom line: if any half of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie makes you cry, you are living a terrible life."
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.

"I'm not saying never. I'm just saying, until your job title is something like, 'Snoop's entourage member #6', you can't call them your cizzo-workas. "
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.

"I do not meet many people like you. I think, somehow, you must forgive me, perhaps we are both connected somehow?"
"Well, I'm a gemini, when were you born?"
--A very earnest man, and a woman, at the Cinnabon in the SJC Norman Y. Mineta airport.

"Well, I think giving gifts is a sign of endorsement."
"Sure."
"Remember that bed your mother gave us?"
"Our bed?"
"Yes, she gave it to us. It was very sweet."
"She was trying to get rid of it."
"But she gave it to us. I really took that as the first time she accepted me."
"You know Goodwill wouldn't take it?"
--A woman, and a man who apparently never wanted to sleep in that bed again, at Fressen, in Toronto.

"I don't think she knows yet."
"AOL keyword: 'yet'."
--Two guys at 540 Club.