5 February 2005
Submitted by eve on Sun, 02/06/2005 - 11:47pm. Beautiful
"So this girl today... she was totally my type."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba
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Speaking of girls who are my type...
Posted by paul on Mon, 04/11/2005 - 7:15am.
...I have a visitor from Canada. That's right, the Stealth Librarian herself, daen, is here for a visit!

You may commence being envious now.
Very hot
Posted by resemble on Fri, 02/24/2006 - 7:11am.
Very hot discussion, what does daen means in your post?
I am online man
Posted by ParU on Wed, 04/20/2005 - 6:31pm.
Cool - hope your visit goes well, daen...
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by daen on Mon, 04/18/2005 - 6:56am.
And I will just add that I can unreservedly recommend Paul as tour guide and host. :)
Hard to be stealthy
Posted by Mike on Tue, 04/12/2005 - 9:08am.
When your host announces your presence. :^P

Your type, eh? Canadians? Librarians? Women willing to sneak into your house?
Typing with maximum efficiency
Posted by Mike on Wed, 04/06/2005 - 8:50am.
So... looking for a type. How's that working out for you? How far can one's typing go before it changes over from "sensible" to "unreasonably picky"? Are first impressions really the best way to evaluate potential dating material? Have you ever been pleasantly surprised by someone who wasn't your type? Heck, what do you do if your type despises you?

</vague conversation-starting attempt>
My Friday song.
Posted by paul on Fri, 03/04/2005 - 11:05pm.
A little late, perhaps, but what the hell...

(Recited, with a bizarrely cheerful tune running endlessly in the background)

After his second wife passed away, Percy Rawlinson seemed to spend more and more time with his Alsatian, Al. His friends told him, "You should get out more, Percy, you'll wind up looking like a dog, hah hah." He was later arrested near a lamppost. At his trial some months later he surprised everyone by mistaking a policeman for a postman and tearing his trousers off with his bare teeth. In his defense he told the court, "It's hard to tell the difference when they take their hats off."

Mrs. Betty Finch was playing the trombone when she heard a knock at the door. "I wonder who that is at 11 o'clock in the morning?" she thought. But cautiously opening the door, instead of the turbaned ruffian she expected, she found a very nice young man. "Mrs. Finch, you've won the car contest; would you like a Triumph Spitfire or £3000 in cash?" he smiled. Mrs. Finch took the money. "What will you do with it all, not that it's any of my business?" he giggled. "I think I'll become an alcoholic," said Betty.

With a geranium behind each ear and his face painted with gay cabalistic symbols, 6'8" 17-stone police sergeant Jeff Bull looked jolly convincing as he sweated and grunted through a vigorous twist routine at the Fraga Gogo Via Kellar. His hot serge trousers flapped wildly over his enormous plastic sandals as he jumped and jumped and gyrated toward a long-haired man. "Uh, excuse me man, I've reason to believe you can turn me on," he leered suggestively. As if by magic, dozens of truncheons appeared and mercilessly thrashed him. Poor Jeff -- what a turn-out for the books.

Much as he hated arguments or any kind of unpleasantness, Ron Shirr thought things had gone too far when returning from a weekend in Clacton he found that his neighbor had trimmed the enormous hedge dividing their gardens into the shape of a human leg. Enraged and envious beyond belief, Ron seized his garden shears and clipped his white poodle Rex into the shape of a coffee table. "That'll fix it," thought Ron -- but he was wrong. The following Wednesday his neighbor had his bushy waist-length hair cut and permed into a model of the Queen Elizabeth and went sailing. Everywhere he went, people said "Hurray!" Sometimes you just can't win.
Since this became the romance thread...
Posted by paul on Fri, 02/25/2005 - 12:59pm.
I thought it a good place to post this. (work safe)
Posted by daen on Thu, 03/03/2005 - 7:28pm.
The scary thing is that I can give you the real titles of some of those books. We have them in the library, and they're well-circulated.
All of my co-workers loved the improved covers.
My favorite
Posted by paul on Fri, 03/04/2005 - 11:11pm.
is still "Lord of the Hissy Fit".

Although Scotty McMullet gets honorable mentions as well.
Posted by steff on Sat, 03/05/2005 - 7:11am.
i prefer the lord of the tube socks, i think. and scottie mcmullet made me choke on my salmon. that place is dangerous!

"how could he tell her he had no friggin' clue where they were?" heeeeeee....
To clarify...
Posted by steff on Sat, 03/05/2005 - 10:06am.
let me just specify that "choke on my salmon" was not, repeat, NOT a euphemism.

Posted by Mia on Thu, 03/03/2005 - 8:21pm.
For the record, I'm glad you recognized the covers, too. I have one of them on my shelf at home.
Posted by umrguy on Fri, 03/04/2005 - 12:46am.
I once bought my (now) ex-girlfriend a Wal-mart gift card in part so that she could buy herself some new romance novels. Whilst she was making use of of it on our next trip to Wally world, I perused the summaries on the back. Just incredible, really.

(Actually, it was her influence that led me to read one of those J.D. Robb books, the one that combines both that author's universes... and caused my mom to ask me what I was doing reading a romance novel.)

Hmmm, since it's now Friday, and on topic (more or less), even though I may have posted it before, time for a song:

I do have a cause though. It is obscenity. I'm for it. Unfortunately the civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to fight it owing to the nature of the laws as a matter of freedom of speech and stifling of free expression and so on but we no what's really involved: dirty books are fun. That's all there is to it. But you can't get up in a court and say that I suppose. It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem to be marching for their causes these days I have here a march for mine. It's called...

Give me smut and nothing but!
A dirty novel I can't shut,
If it's uncut,
and unsubt- le.

I've never quibbled
If it was ribald,
I would devour where others merely nibbled.
As the judge remarked the day that he
acquitted my Aunt Hortense,
"To be smut
It must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance."

Nographic pictures I adore.
Indecent magazines galore,
I like them more
If they're hard core.

(Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties,
samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything!
More, more, I'm still not satisfied!)

Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers,
Lurid, licentious, and vile,
Make me smile.
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime.
(Let's face it, I love slime.)

All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder,
For filth (I'm glad to say) is in
the mind of the beholder.
When correctly viewed,
Everything is lewd.
(I could tell you things about Peter Pan,
And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man!)

I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill,
And I suppose I always will,
If it is swill
And really fil

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?
I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley.
But now they're trying to take it all
away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
we fight for freedom of the press.
In other words,

Smut! (I love it)
Ah, the adventures of a slut.
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut,
I don't know what
Compares with smut.

Hip hip hooray!
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!
Don't let them take it away!

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by paul on Fri, 03/04/2005 - 11:02pm.
The other Tom that I idolize! Or rather, used to until I heard his comments on the shuttle explosion... Lileks is right. Childhood idols stay around just long enough to really disappoint you.

But his songs are still first rate.
Posted by peegee on Fri, 03/04/2005 - 4:47am.
It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution unfortunately.

It may not be in the constitution, but isn't there something about the pursuit of happiness in your "Declaration of Independence" ?

Well, now I've posted something I might as well put up a friday song of my own. I'm not sure whether I posted it before, but it's very British, so probably no one knows it anyway.

The Divine Comedy - Generation Sex

Generation Sex respects the rights of girls
Who want to take their clothes off
As long as we can all watch that's okay
And Generation Sex elects the type of guys
You wouldn't leave your kids with
And shouts off with their heads if they get laid

Lovers watch their backs as hacks in macks
Take snaps through telephoto lenses Chase Mercedes Benzes through the night
A mourning nation weeps and wails
but keeps the sales of evil tabloids healthy
The poor protect the wealthy in this world

And Generation Sex injects the sperm of worms
Into the eggs of field mice
So you can look real nice for the boys
And Generation Sex is me and you And we should really all know better
It doesn't really matter what you say
Pursuit of happiness
Posted by umrguy on Fri, 03/04/2005 - 8:06am.
I once read that that phrase actually means something more to the effect of "job/career of choice", in other words, the right to choose your own career path, not the right to engage in hedonism.

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-
Posted by ParU on Thu, 03/10/2005 - 8:16pm.
Gee I just thought it meant you could chase your dream...
But how come there's no Danish "Pursuit of Happiness" huh, bunky? Where's the logic in that? What do Scandanavian countries do for a constitution/guiding principle?
It's Amino world without Chemists
What happiness ?
Posted by peegee on Fri, 03/11/2005 - 12:23am.
Hmm, I think the "pursuit of happiness" is so prominent in American culture, because a lot of the people that emigrated to the US were rather unhappy with the place they left behind. Emigrating was the pursuit of happiness. Danes have pretty much always been in Denmark. Also the Danish outlook on society can be perceived to be rather socialistic, meaning the common good is just as important as individual freedom, which is even reflected in parts of the constitution. Other than that the constitution of Denmark mostly talks about the rights of the monarch (Denmark is a constitutional monarchy), the parliament and certain inalienable democratic rights of the individual.

Perhaps Denmark is best summed up by this.
Posted by ParU on Sun, 03/13/2005 - 3:59pm.
Didn't the Danes conquer England? And discover America? What do you mean happy where they are?
But the pursuit of happiness I've always interpreted as meaning that people are free to be who they want to be, no class/caste distinctions. If a poor 'white trash' boy from Arkansas can grow up to be President than anyone can do anything. I don't think a poor person could become a self-made politician in Europe enough to win their Prime Ministership or whatever. (And obviously not King).
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by peegee on Mon, 03/14/2005 - 12:38am.
Back in the days the Danes would conquer just about anything that moved, but it didn't last. They discovered Greenland, Iceland and allegedly America(Vinland), but hey, they were a curious folk and they always came back. I think class distinctions are no more outspoken in Europe than they are in the US, but still money matters here as well. Poor white trash might grow up to be President in the US, but I think it's the exception. And Europe has their share too. For example Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister of the UK, Poul Nyrup Rasmussen, former prime minister of Denmark, and Gerhard Schröder, prime minister of Germany, all hail from working class backgrounds. Not everyone can become king, but everyone can marry into royalty and of course royalty in Europe has no real power, i.e. if they would try to exert the power they formally have, they would lose it immediately. Consider royalty a gimmick to save us the effort of doing those nasty superstar casting shows to find subject matter for the tabloids.
Posted by ParU on Wed, 03/16/2005 - 7:24pm.
That I do recall a case about ten (??) years ago where there was an attempted coup in Spain that essentially folded when the King refused to support it. So Royality have some uses, besides touristy ones. And never underestimate the importance of symbolism. Men have died to save Flags in battle.
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Matt on Thu, 03/17/2005 - 12:06am.
Which is just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. A flag, really, is nothing more than a piece of cloth with a design on it. If your ability to fight, as a soldier, is hinged emotionally or mentally on where your flag is, then taking yourself out of the gene pool by being a solider is probably exactly the job for you.

Ugh. I'm venting here, but the warrior-culture meritocracy the government of my country has implemented thoroughly disgusts me.
Posted by Apple on Thu, 03/17/2005 - 7:12am.
Your boxers are bunching again. Just saying. But, hey, that's one of the reasons I like you.


Brian, I love that story!
Posted by brian65401 on Fri, 03/18/2005 - 5:57am.
I forgot to post the translation of the old Irish on those colors..."Who never retreated from the Clash of Spears."
Save the colors
Posted by brian65401 on Thu, 03/17/2005 - 6:21am.
That was a different time, and a very different kind of war. During the US Civil War (War Between the States, War of Northern Aggression, what have you) the colors of your unit were at the center front of your unit. Due to the powder used at that time, after a very short amount of fighting, the entire battlefield would be obscured in smoke. The regimental colors were a guide for the soldiers, stay with the colors, stay with your unit. The cry Rally 'round the flag, is an order for the unit to reform at its center.
In addition, the regimental colors were typically fashioned by the women of the town or county where a regiment was raised. This was an item made by their loved ones and brought into battle, thus forming that emotional bond. The worst disgrase would be to allow those colors to be captured by the enemy.
On this day, I guess it would be appropriate to mention the Fighting 69th. That is the 69th New York more commonly known as the Irish Brigade (their colors actually said 1st Rgt instead of 69th Rgt because they were the 1st Rgt of the Irish Brigade). One of the Regiment's proudest claims is that it never lost a flag in battle. At Fredericksburg they thought they had lost a national colors, but the next morning the flag bearer was found dead, sitting against a tree with the stars and stripes wrapped around him and the ends grasped tightly in his hands. As their colors stated...“Riamh Nar Dhruid O Spairn Iann”
Happy St. Patricks Day!
Posted by Jon on Mon, 03/14/2005 - 7:06am.
"Popstars", the inspiration for "American Idol", was a British TV show... so the gimmick must be wearing thin, I suppose. ;p
Posted by daen on Mon, 03/14/2005 - 9:08am.
Well, apparently one British tabloid, in announcing Charles and Camilla's wedding, headlined the article "Two Boring Old Gits Get Married."
In some cases, said gimmick is so thin as to be invisible.
Posted by Matt on Fri, 02/25/2005 - 8:29pm.
Those. Are. Awesome.

The reader submissions are pretty good too.
Posted by marinerd on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 7:54am.
Happy ♥ Day everybody! Even us single types. Eat chocolate!!
Chocolate! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Posted by Apple on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 9:25am.
Valentine's Day, a diabetic chocoholic's nightmare. *G*

Even worse, I don't like flowers.

Wonder if Mr Man will take my many not-so-subtle hints and buy me that Manning jersey. Heh.

I'm Apple, and I approve this message.
Could be worse
Posted by Jon on Tue, 02/08/2005 - 8:23am.
His type could have been... AB Positive!
Posted by paul on Sun, 02/13/2005 - 11:45pm.
Or it could have been Courier.
Bike & bus
Posted by marinerd on Tue, 02/08/2005 - 7:46am.
Here in the Emerald City all of our buses have holders on the front for people attach their bikes. I think sometimes people are going to places to ride and don't want to fight traffic to get there, or maybe the trip is just a little too long to ride the bike the whole way, so they're compromising with public traffic.

And I adore the idea of the horsey bike. I remember they used to sell short broomsticks with plastic horse heads on them for kids to "ride" [dating myself]. Simple pleasures!
Posted by jcharles on Wed, 03/02/2005 - 6:56pm.
You might want to insert the word "to" in between "people" and "attach." At least, that's the way they talk where I come from. Now, the Emerald City... you got me on that one.

Sigh. I need a vacation. Anybody else wanna go on spring break? I'll bring the froot monkey.

Never apologize. Never explain.
Emerald City
Posted by Somnambulist on Mon, 05/09/2005 - 3:35pm.
It's a nickname for Seattle.
Dating Oneself
Posted by Apple on Tue, 02/08/2005 - 7:57am.
You're not dating yourself too much. They still have those, only now they make noises as you ride.

And, hey, if you still feel like you're dating yourself, at least you're a cheap date. *G*

I'm Apple, and I approve this message.
I dunno Paul
Posted by hypoxic on Mon, 02/07/2005 - 10:17am.
the first thing the guy does is state her age so he really isn't that noble and only cares about her personality.
You never know.
Posted by paul on Mon, 02/07/2005 - 11:38am.
If the guy in question is in his 30s as well, he may be indicating that he found someone appropriate for him to be interested in, rather than some twentysomething barbie. But the point is, he was interested in her, and was taken by her personality after talking to her for a bit. That says a fair amount in his favor.
Posted by Penny on Mon, 02/07/2005 - 2:13pm.
Yup, speaking as a woman, I'd rather this comment than, "Hey, look at the A$$ on her!" Of course, I haven't actually heard that since I was
Posted by paul on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 12:10am.
∂α/∂t would be an appropriate response to that.

(Here is an explanation for you non-engineering types. Might be fun to get a bumper sticker made with that on it with the pointing-hand graphic next to it, just to see who got the reference.)

(No real point to this post, other than an excuse to make a really bad geek joke and to play with HTML codes. ♥)
Posted by Mia on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 12:37am.
I have ADD. How did you make a heart?
Like this: ♥
Posted by paul on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 12:55am.
I got the code for it here.

I ♠ my cat!
Posted by Apple on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 6:17am.
Join the ♣ :^D

♪♪♪♪♪ Oooo, how musical.

I'm Apple, and I approve this message.
Posted by Matt on Mon, 02/14/2005 - 8:48am.
Wow. Turns out there's HTML that Opera doesn't recognize. All your little hearts look like little squares. I'll go to Netscrape now.
Posted by paul on Mon, 02/07/2005 - 5:39am.
...at least he didn't say something like "She was blonde, about 5' 7", a 34C with a firm round ass..." He likes her for her personality.

Good for him, say I.
The question should be why wa
Posted by Beano on Mon, 02/07/2005 - 6:47am.
The question should be why was she on the bus if she had a bike?

I may be a foreigner from Wales but nonetheless a fair point.
I figured that's probably why
Posted by cariadwen on Tue, 02/08/2005 - 6:16am.
i figured that's probably why she had the horse's head on her bike - to disguise it & thus gain passage
Posted by Matt on Mon, 02/07/2005 - 8:17am.
Because Berkeley is a very hilly town. That's all I can figure. She couldn't get her lame, hippie bike up some ridiculously steep hill.

Either that, or possibly she was boarding the Transbay bus that goes from the Berkeley/Oakland area, across the bridge to San Francisco.
Posted by ParU on Sun, 02/13/2005 - 12:31pm.
Well I know of one Berkeley student who used to ride her bike all around town and up and down the hills, she used to say that she had 'thighs of steel'. But then she moved and got a job and had to get a car. So sad.
It's Amino world without Chemists
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