"Generally 'take one for the team' implies taking one for your own team."
--One guy to another standing at the bar at The B-Cups' show.
(It's a (mostly) girl punk band. Not a lingerie fashion show.)

"The mouse button works best if you click it about a quarter inch from the right. That I have to know that is very, very annoying."
--A guy holding a laptop at Nomad Cafe

"It's ugly. Really ugly."
"Is there an 'F' in how ugly it is?"
--A girl and a guy at IKEA.

"Mom, I need to go to the bathroom."
"God, sweetie, what have I told you about TMI? I didn't need to know that, and neither did anyone else here."
--A girl who looked to be about 4, and her mother, in line for checkout at Andronico's.

"Not a lot of teenage girls will own up to being in the Mafia, that's true."
--A woman talking on a cell phone at SFO

"They've got to spell everything out. 'Millionaire' didn't get the point across, so here it's 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?' Did they think ours was 'Look at the Millionaire?'"
--A woman with a british accent, commenting on the television selection in the lounge of my hotel.

"He asked, but I didn't feel comfortable taking off my socks. *pause* ....Not in front of the nurse." --A woman talking on a cell phone in the Kaiser doctor's office lobby.

"Wait, are there two Starbucks in the mall? I just yelled at my friend for being late, and there are two Starbucks in this mall?"
"Maybe she knew she was late, so she went to the other one. To trick you."
"What kind of friends do you have? And where is the other Starbucks?"
--A girl and a barista at (surprisingly) Starbucks.

"These tickets are 6 months old."
"But we didn't use them then. It's the same flight number, today."
"And you want to use these tickets today for a flight that you missed in November?"
"Oh, we didn't miss it. We decided not to go. We'll need the same seats for today, my knee is bad."
--An airline check-in agent, and a passenger, seemingly talking to each other, but not really hearing anything.

"I started at the end of the street, and I wasn´t shouting -- I wasn´t hysterical. I was just talking very loudly LIKE THIS. And I walked down the row of houses, and I said,`Shame on all of you. All of you! We have lived in this neighborhood for 5 years. We have kept to ourselves! We have bothered no one! And not one of you has ever, ever, shown us welcome, love, or chartiable actions. Shame on all of you.`"
"Oh goodness, she must have known you meant her."
"No, but Janey, she was almost as bad originally, and sure enough she shows up on my doorstep the next day with 50 yellow roses and an invitation to their barbeque. They´re just lucky I didn´t get hysterical."
--Two women talking over brunch

"I always feel thinner when I'm tan. You know how black pants are slimming? Dark colors? It's like black pants for your whole body."
"Except black pants don't kill you."
--Two women talking in the produce section at Whole Foods

"I stopped calling myself a refugee when I bought the Audi. I think that's fair."
"Wyclef has a Hummer with a fish tank in it. Refugee All Star."
"Well."
"You should go major league."
--Two guys talking at Caribou Coffee

"Hey, some friends and I are meeting at Men's Room at 12:30 tonight, wanna come?"
"Oh no, I woke up early this morning. 12:30 is like... twice my bed time."
--Two guys on BART.

"No, his Achilles heel can't be his Achilles heel! "
"It's brilliant! It was my idea. Who would expect it?"
--A guy and a girl looking at a laptop at Nomad Cafe

"Do you know what I like? I like how whenever someone says, 'You can drink it like water,' it's always something you shouldn't be drinking at all."
"No, just not that much. Redbull vodka, for example."
"I was thinking about that guy on TV who shows how safe his organic house cleaner is."
--Two guys talking at Berkeley Bowl

"It's never too late to say you're sorry."
"Sometimes people die."
"That would be a good band name."
--Written on the wall of the women's bathroom at Triple Rock