You ever get the impression that when someone compliments you, they're trying too hard, and the words end up ringing hollow, like that hollow, empty feeling you get late at night, in front of the computer or TV, when suddenly you realize you're getting older, but you haven't really done anything with your life? You've never produced anything meaningful--really meaningful--and days, weeks, months, and years go in endless cycles, with the only quantifiable changes being the weather and the fact that, sometime during the course of the past year, your age increased one integer.

Have a nice day.

Come again soon.

A pleasure meeting you.

Customer service, how may I help you?

Let's do lunch.

Why is it people seem to feel like they have to "do something" with their life? I don't know when it turned into some kind of achievement test. You are doing something right now. You're creating your life with all its little quirks and changes, ups and downs, and you're creating your ideas about life in general as well. In my opinion, the act of living your life is the ultimate creation. If you want to make something other people can look at, that's fine but it's not required. I think life is meant to be a learning experience. We're learning and growing every instant that we live, even if it sometimes doesn't feel like we are.

Jeez, didn't mean to get so serious! But it's all among friends here, right?

Well said! I've long since decided that if I'm happy, then I'm successful. I don't mean yippy-skippy every moment of every day, obviously. But if I'm pleased with who I am, what I'm doing, and how I'm interacting with the rest of the world, then all is well, and that's all the accomplishment I really need.

Now if I could just convince my dad of this so he'd stop the unsubtle hints that I should leave the casual life of academic research and enter "the private sector" where I could make a lot more money and be a lot less happy. Hmph.

Cheers

*********
"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto

I was trying to come up with a way to respond to marinerd, and y'all've (ha! take THAT grammatical construction) managed to help me put it into words - basically it comes down to the fact that I don't feel as happy as I'd like to be, and I'm not doing what I'd like to be doing.

Exactly what it is I'd really like to be doing with my life is something I still haven't figured out yet, mind, but I know that this isn't it.

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-

If you think that carpentry might make you happy, I have an oak floor that I'm refinishing. I even have a spare sander. It pays in cold fermented beverages, and when done will be around for years and years. I also promise to not try to introduce you to the sister-in-law with two kids going through the divorce.

Happiness is:

a house payment that is made on time.
coming home from work to find that your son cut the grass.
getting to work on the Mustang because you want to, not because you have to.
winning that auction on E-Bay.
the obnoxious neighbors next door with 9 cars (6 running) finally moving.
a dog with a fresh haircut, and trimmed nails.
the look of relief in a young man's eyes when you approve his Eagle project.
Grandma giving your wife her piano.
a new system at work that actually works as advertised.
a new bluegrass cd
the Cardinals on a rip (go Redbirds!)
cool mornings and fresh dew.
not as much ventilation as you thought you had when you put the floor stripper down.
OK, that one might not be happiness. Anyone else feel light headed?

I'm going outside, talk to you all later.

Well I think umrguy should help. It'd be cool, some IP folks physically helping each other out. And Cap'n brian - let me remind you of ASHRAE's original slogan "Ventilation is next to Godliness". 1 Loonie pt to anyone (without GOOGLING) who knows what ASHRAE stands for. And 3 bonus Loonie pts if you can identify the standard number that deals with ventilation.
It's Amino world without Chemists

ASHRAE=American Society of Heating Refrigeration and Air-Conditioning Engineers if I remember correctly. They also have a really cool handbook if you join them. HVAC was a fun class for me.

Oops don't know the ANSI number for ventilation but I know that 10% is about the minimum amount of air exchange you want for a building.

And it's ASHRAE std 62 (actually 62.1 and 62.2 since they split off the residential part of it).
And the Handbook is actually 4 handbooks (they change on the 4 year cycle).
And the Loonie pts to hypo guy!
It's Amino world without Chemists

I don't know what the fuss is all about. I just don't. Why get all dramatic over the stressful things when the stressful things will happen no matter what? Take my life as an example. My universe implodes on a regular basis, yet, I'm still pretty much happy. In fact, my life gives me something to laugh at every single day, even if it is only at myself.

I think George Carlin (I think) said it best: "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." *G*

Well, your personality is just like that. Not everyone has that same ability to deal with stress so well. My natural self is a worrier. Past experiences have made me more pessimistic as well. And anti-depressants can only do so much. I thought I'd be in a much different place by my age and I'm always aware of how far I have to go. I'm usually fairly happy, but there are days on end sometimes where I can start crying by seeing a happy mom and baby out shopping.

For some people it's just impossible to Not sweat the petty things. Can't be helped. You know, what Paul said. :P

Zoloft doesn't hurt my emotional well-being, you know.

*G*

Actually, Paul's right. I've been happy pretty much forever. Dad says I even smiled as the doc smacked my ass. Probably why... well, probably shouldn't discuss that with you sickos. :^P

done some years back on the subject of happiness. The conclusion they came to was that people are born with a certain level of innate happiness, and don't deviate far from it during their lives, no matter their circumstances. In other words, if happiness is measured on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being severely depressed and 10 being delirious joy, people usually tend to stay close to one level most of their lives, as though they have a happiness gauge that has been permanently set- so one person might be typically around 6 or 7 (like Apple, for instance) and be pretty consistently happy no matter what happens, while others might be consistently around 3 or 4 (like Kurt Cobain) and be depressed no matter how good the circumstances of their lives are.

Overall I think this is true, really, although it's also true that you're only really as happy as you allow yourself to be. It's quite possible to be around a 6 or 7 for most of your life and then hit a depression that knocks you down to a 2 for a while and then come back out of it again. I know several people who have done just that, or are in the process of doing so. But most people I know are usually pretty consistent in their level of happiness. Hence if I date someone and they're always rather moody and pessimistic, I get out of that relationship as fast as I can. I refuse to be dragged down by them, because nothing that I ever say or do will ever make them happy...

Feh. Enough philosophising for one night.

Hmm, but I think one can feel that one ought to do something meaningful with one's life even though one hasn't succumbed to any achievement craze. Without being unhappy with one's achievements one may for example feel this way after having spent hours alone staring at the wall, because that is the best one could think of. Again.

is how *you* feel about what you've accomplished, not how others view you, and that's where people get into trouble. I've known quite a few people who were not big financial successes, who worked at what some would consider to be menial jobs all their lives and yet are very content as they look back because they've accomplished what *they* wanted to do- be it a lifetime spent mostly playing with their kids, or painting, or just enjoying the sunshine and a beer whenever possible. Others look at them and see someone with no ambition to better themselves, and that is a mistake. These people are probably overall a lot happier with their lives than the rest of us. Unfortunately they're the exceptions.

Most of us, sadly, buy into the whole bit about whether or not we've contributed something meaningful and lasting to society as a measure of success. Some take it far more seriously than others- and believe me, that way lies only grief and madness. I've known a hell of a lot of people like that as well. They want to be the ones at the top, the great ones who will always be remembered, and grind their teeth when they can't quite make it. But ya know what? We can't all be Michael Jordan or Jonas Salk or Thomas Jefferson or whatever. There's no dishonor in being the second best or third or even five hundredth, as long as you can honestly say that you tried your best. In fact, the best thing I can think of to direct someone toward for a good hard reality check is Shelley's poem "Ozymandias".

"Meaningful" is an extremely relative, subjective and elusive term.

It still doesn't help considering I just found out the other day that a guy from my graduating class in high school (who I knew, although not well) has as part of the group STORYOFTHEYEAR an album out that's gone gold so far...

...Or when I think about two main goals I've set for myself in my life, to be a husband and father someday, and how my girlfriend broke up with me last week. :(

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-

I guess you may still have a little time left. After all, guys don't have that biological clock constantly ticking at them! Sometimes, the best things are the ones we have to wait for.

Maybe women sense your two goals hovering over you and it causes them a tiny bit of panic? I hope you're having fun and meeting people, because you never know when one of them will volunteer to breed with you!

And what does some guy you barely knew have to do with you?

mari,
That is the most succinct, poignant way of addressing the "achiever" fixation that I have ever heard. Bravo!

I, too, am an admirer of Scott Joplin's music. My favorite is "Solace -- A Mexican Serenade." Slow and sweet. I recommend it to your attention.

I really want to see Supersize Me, but I am worried about the depression factor. I recently read Fast Food Nation, which, in addition to making me unable to even look at a cheeseburger, also made me really depressed. Supersize me looks more lighthearted, or at least more ridiculous... Opinion?

Also, opinions on Fast Food Nation, those who've read it?

Far from being depressing, I found the movie very inspiring. It helps me to avoid fast food when I realize it's just filling people up, it's not nourishing them. This movie also reminds us that this kind of "food" can actively harm us.

The movie itself had the whole audience laughing out loud on several occasions. I thought it was very funny. And inspiring. And it was very informative, too. I think anyone with kids should take them to see this movie, absolutely!

In '94 or '95 I read the FFN excerpt that was in... Rolling Stone, I think. About the only fast food I've eaten since then would be the three times I've gone to In N Out.

I've also decided that soda is pretty much The Beverage of Evil, but that's only loosely related to FFN. Though Pepsi does own KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut, for what it's worth.

I think there are some good soda passages in FFN, but they weren't nearly as bad some other things I've heard about soda. Some prostitutes in countries where condoms (and often clean water) are unavailable have used Coke to prevent aids. Apparently it's so acidic it actually kills most of the virus, and most of the sperm... And I have a friend who uses it to unclog her drains and clean her toilet. I also heard once that pure Coke syrup is considered a hazardous substance to transport, because it's so corrosive, but that's probably a myth.
I couldn't believe reading that some people actually feed soda to their babies in bottles... who on earth would think that is a good idea?
I am glad I was raised by crunchy hippie parents who forbade artificial and tooth-rotting things like soda. Although every once in a while I did get seltzer water mixed with juice concentrate... hmmm. Hippie soda.

But mother nature deemed it fit to give me builtin protection from evil soda. I'm mildly allergic to some of the ingredients which made for a pretty soda-free childhood. Back then forbidden stuff was exciting, these days I just don't like the taste and hence steer clear of it. *g*

The ability of a soda wash to kill AIDS and prevent pregnancy is an urban legend--though I imagine some young or particularly naive girls have tried it, it doesn't work. Vinegar will also loosen clogs in drains and makes a great toilet cleaner, but I don't see people bad-mouthing it. And finally, pure Coke syrup can be found at many drug stores--I can personally attest it greatly reduces nausea, when it is poured over crushed ice and consumed slowly--so I doubt it's being delivered in HazMat trucks.

But, I suppose if you just go ahead believing soda is evil, then you'll consume less, and soaking in that much less sugar has to be a good thing.

I've used Coke to get oil stains out of my massage therapy linens. It works reasonably well, but I've had better results with either dish detergent or petroleum jelly.

I almost missed daen saying " stains" and " petroleum jelly"
My week is complete
: D
--" The torture never stops"--

Maybe I should have just referred to "getting stains out of my sheets."
I should've known there was no way to make a statement of that sort un-comment-worthy.
*g*

daen, methinks that wouldn't have helped :D

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-

I know. What I meant to say is "Since there's no way to phrase that comment so it will pass unnoticed by all the periscopes arising from the gutter, I should have just gone with the phrasing as it originally occurred to me: I've used Coke for getting stains out of the sheets."

Next time I'll know better. *g*

"Periscopes from the Gutter"

'nuff said

Heh!
My sister and I always say "snarky," but we get a lot of blank looks and people who require and explanation. I feel all validated now. Snark on!

Haven't read "The Illiad," haven't even finished "The Odyssey" by James Joyce. I saw the movie today. FWIW, I was one of two people in the theater for a 3:00 showing.

Aaanyway, other than some of the same archery-related impossibilities that plagued Orlando Bloom in LOTR (anodized aluminum arrows with nylon fletching in LOTR, fiberglass recurve bow in Troy), it was a decent bit of eye candy. B+ acting, generally, Pitt does a decent turn as Achilles, yadda yadda. Hey, speaking of whom, any thoughts on the rumor Pitt used a body double? I could go either way, actually.

So, basically, worth the $6.50 matinee price I paid, but just barely.

Well I saw The Terminal today with Tom Hanks. Quite good. Cute, funny, touching and, as you might expect given the director, extremely well done.
It's Amino world without Chemists

i've not seen it, but also heard (from someone i trust to make the assessment, no less) that it was great... but i've wondered since i heard of the plot how much it was inspired by this poor guy.

update: oh. heh. so, steeeeeeffff, if you'll just please read to the end of your OWN LINK, you'll see that, in fact, it was. duh.

in my defense, i've read the story so many times before that i didn't realize it'd been updated. apologies.

The Terminal (2004) (1 1/2 stars, www.reel.com)

Has Steven Spielberg been possessed by Nora Ephron, the patron saint of sappy movies (You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle)? It sure looks that way in The Terminal, a tedious schmaltz-fest that feels more like the work of the cinematically challenged Ephron than the supremely gifted Spielberg. Despite the valiant efforts of Tom Hanks, The Terminal is neither touching nor charming. And while it's obvious that a lot of time and money went into the film's production, there's little spark to this Capra-esque dramedy, which completely wastes the talents of Catherine Zeta-Jones in a badly conceived and written role. Only in a couple of scenes does the movie glimmer with wit and energy before sinking back into predictability. A HUGE disappointment given the A-list caliber of the talent involved, The Terminal is probably the least entertaining film Spielberg has made since the sappy clunker Always (1989).

Very loosely based on a true story, The Terminal casts Hanks as Viktor Navorski, a New York City-bound tourist from the Eastern European country of Krakozhia. Upon arriving at JFK International Airport, Viktor learns that rebels have overthrown Krakozhia's government. Since the U.S. government does not recognize the rebel government, JFK security official Frank Dixon (Stanley Tucci) confiscates Viktor's passport and orders him to remain in the terminal. Although he's penniless and barely speaks English, Viktor gradually adapts to life in the airport—much to the growing anger of the rabidly ambitious Dixon, who makes it his mission to get Viktor deported. Viktor, however, refuses to leave before he can legally enter the U.S. to honor a family promise. Making his extended stay a little sweeter is Amelia (Zeta-Jones), a beautiful and insecure flight attendant initially unaware of Viktor's predicament. With her support and the help of a colorful cadre of airport workers, Viktor ultimately finds the strength to challenge Dixon.

All the elements are present in The Terminal for a whimsical and bittersweet "fish out of water" comedy, the kind of movie that Frank Capra excelled at making during his thirties-era heyday. Yet The Terminal rarely, if ever, comes alive. This is partly due to the film's overly long running time—the screenplay stretches this reed-thin scenario to 131 minutes—but it's the uncertain tone, tepid banter, and poorly developed characters that finally derail The Terminal. You keep waiting for the story to transport you, to sweep you up into the characters' lives, but there's so very little surprise or dramatic tension in the movie that your interest wanes quickly, long before Viktor's saga inches towards its foregone conclusion.

As for the frustrating, stop-start romance between Hanks and Zeta-Jones, the stars have one charming scene together—a romantic candlelit dinner catered by three airport workers (played by Chi McBride, Diego Luna, and Kumar Pallana). Regrettably, the screenwriters undercut the characters' romance by turning Zeta-Jones' character into a self-help cliché right out of Smart Women, Foolish Choices. That wouldn't be so bad if Spielberg and his screenwriters had given Zeta-Jones an opportunity to develop Amelia into more than simply just another thirtysomething single woman who always dates married men. The actress does what she can with her limited role, but her character is basically incidental to the narrative, which is fairly standard for most of the women in Spielberg's films, save for The Sugarland Express (1974) and The Color Purple (1985).

The Terminal is the third and weakest film Tom Hanks has made with Spielberg, the others being Saving Private Ryan (1998) and Catch Me If You Can (2002). Even in this sub-par film, the actor is impressive; a movie star to the core and terrifically versatile. Usually hailed as the new James Stewart, Hanks also evokes the quiet strength and subtlety of the late Spencer Tracy, one of those great stars you never caught "acting." For their next collaboration, let's hope that he and Spielberg find a project worthier of their talents and our time than the interminable Terminal.

"Foo, you are no wizard" (1 cool pt).
I say Foo on your review. It was a good movie.
It's Amino world without Chemists

She's come up with some good movies - I mean, look at When Harry Met Sally. Granted, that was developed along with Rob Reiner, but I would have to say that movie in and of itself is one of the best romantic comedies ever.

-There's someone in my head, but it's not me.-

I contend When Harry Met Sally and Punck Drunk Love are the only two watchable romantic comedies ever.


Ever.

Well I'd rank You've got Mail as one of my all time favorite movies, so there.
Also French Kiss ain't too bad either.
It's Amino world without Chemists

And I would have to disagree. I like WHMS, but the other I did not enjoy. It was partly because of the cast. I also didn't think it was very funny. There are several other romantic comedies that I own and can watch over and over again because they're entertaining.

On the topic of other movies, I haven't been in a theater in a couple years. It's not often I want to pay that much to see one. I just wait and see it through Netflix.

Oh, and I don't like Brad Pitt. :D

I tried to watch Troy, but walked out during a big battle which occured right after a nekkid Brad. My friend and I thought our time would be better spent over lemon drops and spicy tiger prawns at a local eatery.... and we were right.