".... so she doesn't get Benadryl, she gets Cheeseadryl!"
polite laughter.

-odd overheard conversation between coworkers. NO IDEA of the context

"I'm a cookie dyslexic"
- my dad, when he forgot where he put the cookies

this all took place while at my friends concert saturday night.
while loading up the trailers...
"This box is so big" - a band member
"You know what else is big?" - another band member
"MY PENIS" - A GIRL NAMED SARAH

"I can read minds!"
"whatever you're on, why don't you share?"
"because it's very expensive. it's a dime a dozen. or was it a dozen dimes? i don't know. do you have any chocolate?"
- two boys in science class

"Don't poop on my hand, ok?"
-woman at local Winn Dixie talking to another woman's pet bird she was holding

So I'm in the kitchen, and I see that two items have been added to my otherwise reasonable shopping list:

behaving cream
hamster fudge dip



y'all is brutalizing me

"He's like Two-Face from Batman, but he can sing and dance!"
-a girl in my choir class, talking about the Phanom of the Opera

"Can I put it on my tongue?"
"Ewww! They've been in a dog's hair!"
"So?"
"Do you lick your dog?"
"...Well, my dog licks ME."
~A guy and girl at drama, about some hair ties that were apparently used on a dog

"Have you ever wondered how many times you look at your finger during a day? I predict it's 478.28."
~A guy at drama

"We'll see you when the eagle has diarrhea, girls."
--A man to the cashiers at a discount store in Clearwater, FL