"You don't have to worry, I'll let you have some of my _private_ carrot cake later."
--Man to his female companion, on exiting the Pacific Film Archive's showing of The Birds

---

Either that's a lousy sexual innuendo, or the guy's got serious issues with posessiveness and food.

"Oh, I'm not concerned about leaving her alone. In case of an emergency or something, she's got her vibrator. *pause* I mean her pager. PAGER! So I can get in touch with her! It's just set on vibrate! ...Oh goodness, I'll bet that sounded bad."
--Man, apparently aware of the threat of being overheard in San Francisco

"Be My Roommate!"
--Sign held by a girl on Sproul, looking desperately friendly, with posterboards behind her of what was presumably her apartment.

"How about this one?"
--Girl about 14 years old in Ross, holding up a fuschia handkerchef shirt
"Um... I don't think you're popular enough to wear that shirt."
--Her shopping companion, a girl about the same age

---

Just in case anyone had forgotten what a horrible, horrible time junior high was.
(This one was overheard during spring break, and I just remembered to add it recently.)

"So you think he's playing both girls?"
--Guy 1 sitting behind me in lecture this morning
"Hell yah, is the pimp catholic?"
--Guy 2

*silence*

"...Pope! Is the POPE catholic?! Dude, you got the phrase wrong."
--Guy 1
"Uh, NO. Think about it, the pope can't get any action."
--Guy 2, indignant
"Nevermind..."
--Guy 1, sounding like he'd like to pound his head against the desk

"That's such stereotyping! Just because he's naked, and he's got an axe, you don't want to talk to him!"
--Heard in passing...

"I've been coming to this pizza place since I was a kid, and the bathroom has always smelled like bubble gum. I wonder why?"
--Written on the wall of the bathroom in La Val's

"Wow, I wrote on this wall 4 years ago as a freshman, and now I'm writing again. Things I've learned since then: 1.)Don't skip lecture and say 'I'll read the book' because you never will. 2.) Don't be afraid to be an individual 3.) If you're secretly in love with your boss who happens to be engaged, it probably would be better to tell him sometime before you're drunk on champagne at the wedding reception."
--Written on the wall of the bathroom in Dwinelle Hall

"Listen to me! No guy has EVER said 'Oh, I'd ask her out, but wait, look, her hair has bumps in it when she puts it back in a ponytail.'"
--One girl, to another girl frantically trying to put her hair smoothly into a ponytail, in the restroom of the UC Theatre

"Sorry, but they don't come with anything in them."
--A vendor of "tobacco" pipes on Telegraph Ave in Berkeley to an inquiring customer