Seen on S. 10th Street in Tacoma WA at 11 pm:

A large group of girls, all wrapped in blankets, standing in a small boat which was parked on a trailer at curbside. Just standing there. In a boat. In the street. At 11 on a Thursday night.

"What kind of animal did she slap?"
"An elephant."
"Was it inside or outside?"
"Outside. She just walked out of the enclosure, slapped it, and walked back in."
"What did the elephant do?"
"He turned down his ears and looked at her strange."
--two women walking past me in Golden Gate Park as I ate my lunch

Seen: a tractor-trailer (or as they say in England, a lorry) with a bumper sticker that read "Girls Show Me Your Hooters".

Seen a moment later: my son pulling up his shirt and pressing his chest against the window as we passed the truck.

Okay, so maybe I did teach him that...

seen:

a car driving around in blakesburg, IA with an enTIRE snowman on the roof of the car.

heh.

Seen in my neighborhood last night (San Diego, 3/16/04):

A Jeep screeching down a residential road at Mach 2 with Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" blaring from the radio at 120 decibles.

No, I didn't actually measure either of those values.

On the door to one of the drama rehersal rooms in the University of Calgary has a sign on it, which says this
Furniture is not(bolded, capitalized, underlined) to be disesembled.

Ok, Last night was pretty much what evs... I'm sayin 2004 is a new year and change is good.
I'm gonna to be pretty honest with ya'll, No joke.. Using salty equiptment is the down fall of splendid night. Yes my headphones blew out on me lastnight..So to make a long story short, from this point on I'm changin my ways..I'm been to the mountain and I've seen tha light. No more trainwreckin dat shit..To be safe I'm gonna have sets of heads phones at me at all times. Call me Loco but I aint to mexican. I'm just sayin....

*a little boy walks over to the soda fountain at st.louis bread company and stands on his tip toes with his cup to try and get soda*
*a man walks over and sees the boy and helps him* author's note: i assumed it was his dad or something
*a woman walks over as the man is finishing helping the boy get his drink*
woman - "oh, spencer, why didn't you just wait for mommy?"
boy - *smiles up from his soda and walks away*
man - "i just...saw him struggling, it was no big deal."
woman - "well thank you so so much."
man - "it's not a problem, he's a cute kid"
*they smile at each other and look each other over, before the man walks away*
- scene took place at my local st.louis bread company...and i could tell by the way that woman looked at that man that she was thinking 'he'd make a good father'...it was the look in her eye. and the little boy really was a cutie.

Driving to work in the mindless Sao Paulo traffic, I saw someone get cut off by another driver. They proceeded to honk and curse at each other for several seconds, then, satisfied that they had sated their need for anger, they both settled down almost simultaneously and apparently switched back into mindless traffic mode. Besides myself as spectator was another man in a VW Gol who thoughtfully picked his nose during the entire show, watching in the Zen like trance of one whos about to find Nirvana and/or that really big booger hes been searching for...

...a man in his late 50s or early 60s, wearing a very colorful shirt and khaki shorts and a wide-brimmed straw hat, describing a song and enthusiastically doing air-guitar for a man sitting behind the wheel of a minivan in a grocery store parking lot.

Okay, in another 20 years if I'm doing things like that, I hereby instruct you all to do something about me, preferably with a shotgun.