"Hey, can you marry two people at once?"

"Um, no, that's polygamy. It's illegal."

"Oh, well, that's stupid! You should be able to do whatever you want, like kill children."

-my friend who seems to have a very vague understanding of civil liberties... and me, confused over dinner one night.

"I read this thing where the gas companies did some "research" and their scientists say that instead of ruining our atmosphere, all the Carbon dioxide we're releasing by burning fossil fuels will create a Greening Effect and transform earth into a fertile paradise. Even the deserts and the arctic will be green and covered with flowers."

"Oh, well, That makes sense."

-My roomate, explaining why some people don't "believe in" global warming, and someone listening to her overwhelmed with disgust. In a Sheri's restuarant in Tacoma, WA at midnight.

I hate it when people claim not to "believe in" things that don't require their faith, as though by making that claim they could just will it all to be untrue. I defeat you, Global Warming, with the powers of my MIND!

Seen on S. 10th Street in Tacoma WA at 11 pm:

A large group of girls, all wrapped in blankets, standing in a small boat which was parked on a trailer at curbside. Just standing there. In a boat. In the street. At 11 on a Thursday night.

"Man, you need scraping bowl."

"You ARE a scraping bowl!"

-Two guys talking over pizza, near University of Puget Sound, Tacoma WA

"Oh, look at the door jamb! It's so pretty! ...ow! Son of a B****!"

-guy caressing the door jamb with his toe.

"Go down, yeah, go down and down and down and then you'll see it."

"Down? Like DOWN?"

"Down. Go Down."


~The Churro Man, pointing to a perfectly flat street in the middle of Madrid, and a girl pointing at the sidewalk in confusion.

Translated from Spanish

Wow! I've never eaten a Rolo like this before, if you bite through them, you can see the caramel inside. I'm glad it's really caramel instead of, like, caramel-flavored nougat.

"So, what would YOU, the ethical subjectivist, say to Ted Bundy when he announces that it is right for him to rape and kill you because he will derive pleasure from it? Anyone?"

"Uh, isn't there another way we could discuss this chapter?"



-Professor and student in Ethics 234, having an academic debate

"I wanted to see the Holy Grail, but there was a wedding."

"Hmm, crazy Spaniards, always getting married."

"They're catholic like that."

Embarassingly enough, two of my friends and me standing outside the chapel of the holy grail in Valencia, as we tried not to interrupt the first of many weddings we witnessed that weekend.