"It's better than chipmunks! Better than lesbian chipmunks!"
— a woman commenting on an action scene in the movie Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter (Oakland, CA)

"I'm mixing and matching. I'm trying to bring balance to the force via M&Ms."
— a coworker commenting on his method of eating Jedi and Sith colored M&Ms (Emeryville, CA)

"I'm so sick of this song — it's everywhere. You know...this is all a plot to make California feel humble. That and the brouhaha over same sex marriages. I mean, come on, people. Don't you have other things to worry about? Like, oh, say...Iraq?"

— a loud female co-worker expressing annoyance with an overplayed song. I believe she is refering to Will you Marry Me?, but I don't listen to pop radio, so I'm not sure. (Emeryville, CA)

"I don't really need this. But I'm just gonna go get some jelly beans. I just want some jelly beans."
— a woman muttering to herself as she walked by my friend's desk at the University of Miami, Dept. of Epidemiology and Public Health (Miami, FL)

"I'll take a chunk of chocolate over rabid weasels any day."
— a woman talking on her cell phone (Pleasanton, CA)

"It is illogical to stop because of a sign."
— my Italian instructor explaining why he wouldn't stop at intersections (Poppi, Italy)

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This happened a few years ago, but I found the quote written down in an old notebook because I didn't want to forget it. This site seemed a good place to put it.

"Well, it's a better worst-case scenario than yesterday."
— written on a cubicle outside my office (Emeryville, CA)

"You could shoot out Peace Ivy! Ptchew-ptchew-ptchew!"
"Peace Ivy?"
"You know...those branches...they mean peace and stuff. With the birds?"
"You mean olive branches?"
"Yes! Olive branches!"
"Peace Ivy sounds more threatening though."
— three coworkers and myself at lunch discussing what should be done with our remains when we die (Emeryville, CA)

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This probably merits some explanation. One of my coworkers asked what we would all like to have happen to our bodies after we died. One of the guys said he'd want his consciousness programmed into a computer that would then control a "giant killer death robot". He promised that the robot would fight for good only. Making it the Giant Killer Death Robot of Goodness. Which, of course, begs the question: what weapons would a Giant Killer Death Robot of Goodness use?

The conversation also featured the phrases "Suffer the fluffy bunnies!", "Beware the doves!" and "Taste my rainbow, bitches!"

"Let's think of the taco as a compositional force."
— an art instructor speaking to her class (Emeryville, CA)

"It's like telekinesis with training wheels — I'm practicing telekinesis. I still use my hands to move things around, but it requires almost no effort. Soon I won't need them at all."
— one of my friends after a CircoZero show in the Mission (San Francisco, CA)