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It's all in the semicolon.
Funny
"She's a little sharp; I need another beer." - girl at karaoke, Cambridge, MA
Getting an education early
Beautiful
Woman to child: You like drag queens, though, right, honey?
Child of about 6: I don't know that many, but I like them.
(Diesel Cafe, Somerville, MA)
Child of about 6: I don't know that many, but I like them.
(Diesel Cafe, Somerville, MA)
Mother Hen
Funny
"Here, you take the chicken, it's your baby!"
- one girl to another in the cereal aisle at Albertson's Woodland Hills
- one girl to another in the cereal aisle at Albertson's Woodland Hills
Killer Gramma
Funny
"Take him down, Gramma! Take him down!"
- girl, very loudly, in Follow Your Heart, Woodland Hills, CA
- girl, very loudly, in Follow Your Heart, Woodland Hills, CA
Noise? Allergies?
Tragic
"I'm sorry, girl, but I'm not staying in any apartment where I need three Benadryl and a shot of tequila just to get to sleep!"
- woman on cell phone, Corner Bakery, Woodland Hills CA
- woman on cell phone, Corner Bakery, Woodland Hills CA
My sainted mother, five minutes ago
Funny
"I feel crappy, yes I do, yes I do,
I feel crappy, yes I do, yes I do,
I feel crappy, yes I do, yes I do,
(pause)
I'm trying to think of a song, and I can't, that's how crappy I feel. I need a crap song."
[I suppose I should offer to get her some tea or something instead of laughing at her and running off to InPassing ... but that's just the kind of vile spawn I am. *shrug*]
I feel crappy, yes I do, yes I do,
I feel crappy, yes I do, yes I do,
(pause)
I'm trying to think of a song, and I can't, that's how crappy I feel. I need a crap song."
[I suppose I should offer to get her some tea or something instead of laughing at her and running off to InPassing ... but that's just the kind of vile spawn I am. *shrug*]
What happens when you live with classicists
Funny
These are from The Archives (a loose collection of napkin-noted remarks from my sophomore year, when I lived with a Latin major and a Sanskrit major). I came across them again and thought they deserved to come back, especially since Jon's around. :c)
"Was Plato impotent or something?"
"Hoo boy, get me some o' that Petrarch!"
"Have you got any togae virilae?"
"Was Plato impotent or something?"
"Hoo boy, get me some o' that Petrarch!"
"Have you got any togae virilae?"
Ouch? Ew? What does one say?
Bizarre
"Go get in bed and chew your feet!"
- at a Christmas party in North Hollywood, CA
- at a Christmas party in North Hollywood, CA
Oh ... *now* you tell me!
Beautiful
Woman to waiter: Is there something going on tonight?
Waiter to woman: I think there's going to be a DJ here later.
Woman to waiter: Oh, do you know who?
Waiter to woman: [missed this]
Woman to waiter: Cool - when does he get here?
Waiter to woman: (pause) I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't speak English. (turns abruptly, walks away)
Waiter to woman: I think there's going to be a DJ here later.
Woman to waiter: Oh, do you know who?
Waiter to woman: [missed this]
Woman to waiter: Cool - when does he get here?
Waiter to woman: (pause) I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't speak English. (turns abruptly, walks away)
For Steff :c)
Beautiful
"I love linguistics gatherings. Normally, people talk about beer, sports, and women. Here, you've got people talking in Portuguese about pro-drop languages. So cool."
-overheard at reception for linguistics conference; Ann Arbor, MI
-overheard at reception for linguistics conference; Ann Arbor, MI