"There are a few in the city that're open 24 hours, but they're in weird places. Like not by the clubs, or by UCSF, but down on 8th and Market, UN Plaza."
"Maybe there are visiting dignitaries flying in, need their Starbucks at 3 in the morning?"
"Maybe you haven't been to UN Plaza. I think the only diplomats there are from Cracklandia and Heroinlund."
"I think it's Heroinistan now. Political upheaval after the last election."
--A girl and a guy at La Note

"Is there a xylophonist in Broken Social Scene?"
"Probably. There's three of everything in that band."
"I could play the theremin. Can I be in Broken Social Scene?"
"You probably already are."
--A girl and a guy at Blue Bottle Coffee

"My excuse is that I frontload my pricklyness, so girls just run from the beginning. What's your excuse for losing them after date three?"
--One guy to another at Red Box Sushi.

"So, are you from San Francisco?"
"...No, but my fiance is."
"Oh, so you're just here for the Bay to Breakers?"
"I live here."
"Oh, that's great. We're having this party afterwards, you should come. All girls get a thong... in your size... we're taking pictures... you know, to promote our website."
--The world's skeeziest guy, and a girl in the restroom line at Tommy's Mexican restaurant.

"I think it's good if a guy knows what a Paddington bag is."
"It's still not getting me laid!"
--A girl and a guy in the Beard Papa queue

\"I want her to have a going away party, so I can say, \'Oh, I\'m not going. I\'ll be celebrating in private.\'\"
--A girl talking to a guy on BART

\"Christ, that smells good. What\'s that smell?\"
\"Carmelized onions, I think.\"
\"That smells better than Thanksgiving. It\'s like Thanksgiving in France! ...Which I guess is just a Thursday.\"
--A girl and a guy at La Note.