Archives
19 December 2004
Funny
"When he said he wouldn't recommend French wine out of protest I was like, fine, and I'll have a side of freedom fries to go with that. But then when he said that real mulled wine had pineapple and maraschino cherries in it I was like, dude, go on hating the French. Because they all hate you for what you've done to vin chaud."
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.
30 December 2004
Beautiful
"Sure, for values of 'neat' that involve you not getting your security deposit back."
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st
11 January 2005
Beautiful
"Did you see that? What that Hummer just did? Why do I get moving violations and that guy zooms off?"
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st
5 February 2005
Beautiful
"So this girl today... she was totally my type."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba
11 February 2005
Beautiful
"Let me put it to you this way, bottom line: if any half of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie makes you cry, you are living a terrible life."
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.
20 February 2004
Wisdom
"I'm not saying never. I'm just saying, until your job title is something like, 'Snoop's entourage member #6', you can't call them your cizzo-workas. "
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.
17 March 2005
Funny
"I do not meet many people like you. I think, somehow, you must forgive me, perhaps we are both connected somehow?"
"Well, I'm a gemini, when were you born?"
--A very earnest man, and a woman, at the Cinnabon in the SJC Norman Y. Mineta airport.
"Well, I'm a gemini, when were you born?"
--A very earnest man, and a woman, at the Cinnabon in the SJC Norman Y. Mineta airport.
24 April 2005
Funny
"Well, I think giving gifts is a sign of endorsement."
"Sure."
"Remember that bed your mother gave us?"
"Our bed?"
"Yes, she gave it to us. It was very sweet."
"She was trying to get rid of it."
"But she gave it to us. I really took that as the first time she accepted me."
"You know Goodwill wouldn't take it?"
--A woman, and a man who apparently never wanted to sleep in that bed again, at Fressen, in Toronto.
"Sure."
"Remember that bed your mother gave us?"
"Our bed?"
"Yes, she gave it to us. It was very sweet."
"She was trying to get rid of it."
"But she gave it to us. I really took that as the first time she accepted me."
"You know Goodwill wouldn't take it?"
--A woman, and a man who apparently never wanted to sleep in that bed again, at Fressen, in Toronto.