"You really don't want me pissing people off right now. I get that." "I don't want you pissing people off ever, and that's what I think you're not getting." --Two guys talking near gate 20 at SFO

"You know how they talk about jobs keeping people off the street? Why do they always say that about guys working at the YMCA, or at the bus station? My job's keeping me off the street too, and literally."
--A man in a suit and tie talking on a cell phone in the lobby of my hotel.

"We need a dolphin with opposable thumbs."
"The combination of a dolphin and a monkey should do it, then."
"Hell of a love child."
"You have not been trained to think that way, so you don't. But I see it."
--Two guys who appear to be doing more drinking than eating at the hotel restaurant.

"And that's what I'm saying. What do you worry more about, social security or printer problems?"
--One guy talking to another, waiting for the elevator.

"I've always got to do what the register says. What if the register says something that's wrong? All customers are the same."
"No, all addition and subtraction is the same."
"Your lattes are all the same."
--Two apparently disgruntled Starbucks employees.

"His phrasing is weird, it's offbeat. He's not pausing at the commas. Hear that? Wait a minute... Dude, he's pausing at the big words."
--A girl watching Bush's press conference on the TV in the lobby of my hotel.

"I'm not the one taking pictures of mannequins all day."
"Mamma, they won't even look at your auction unless you've got a picture, and if I'm the one wearing them in the demo, how can I say they're unworn?"
"But somehow the mannequin wearing it doesn't count as wearing it? I just don't like the thing, it was too expensive."
"The only thing cheaper was inflatable."
--A girl and her mother wandering around a clothing shop.

"So my saying, 'Why don't you try a new life, buy new shoes...'?"
"Not working."
--Two men at Whole Foods

"We'll get going as soon as the rain lets up. *pause* Well, it sure is raining here. *pause* I'm in... *looking around* ...Memphis. I'm in Memphis?"
--A man in a pilot's uniform, talking on a cell phone, at MEM

"How does it end?"
--A guy shouting at the screen during a preview for "The Prince and Me" at the Parkway Theatre.