"What kind of 'legitimate' excuse are we talking about? Legitimate like he was a hostage? Legitimate like car problems? Or just hungover?"
--A businessman talking on a cellphone in line for the ATM

"...it was great. We went to a different steak house every Friday. But I figured it out when he asked the waiter to leave the lemon out of his water."
"Huh?"
"He wasn't trying to take me out to nice places. He was on Atkins."
"Maybe he doesn't like lemon. Some guys don't, you know."
--Two women talking at a restaurant

"Today's Drink Reccommendation: A venti coffee in a grande cup.
Reminds Me Of: A foggy morning in London, walking around, seeing the Eiffel Tower."
--The coffee of the day reccomendation, written by "Lizzie", who is either Starbucks' most subversive or least intelligent employee.

---------------------------
For the record, I'm still anti-Starbucks. I have fewer choices when I'm traveling, though. Where by "fewer" I often mean "none."

"Remember Kenny?"
"New guy, Josh's old co-worker?"
"Yeah. Tonight he was leaving the office and said, 'I'm going to go home and cook these steaks.' I didn't really care, but I said, 'What steaks?' And then he says, "Didn't you see them defrosting on my desk? I bought them from this guy. He was selling them out of the back of his car in the parking lot at McDonald's.'"
"Ew. Ew. I don't even eat cow but ew."
"So in case the next story I tell you about Kenny starts with 'So we haven't seen Kenny in a few days...' Now you know why."
--A guy and a girl waiting in line for breakfast at La Note

"So I got an email from The Guy, and I thought --"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on. The Guy? I'm going to need a lot more context here. Knowing you."
"Shut up."
"Could say worse."
"Shut up."
--Two women talking at Andronico's.

"You look nicer."
"Yeah, I don't wear the contacts much."
"No. I mean you look like a nicer person."
--Two guys talking at Thalassa

"I don't know. Do you want to just go home and watch season 1 and cry?"
"No."
--A girl and a guy walking aimlessly around Reel video.

"So I get home, and she's sitting at the kitchen table with a notebook, counting all the carrot sticks."
"Again?"
--Two women talking outside Pegasus books

"Good call on the reservations. Makes it look like there was advance planning."
"There was. We made reservations."
"You know..."
--Two women arguing in the bathroom at P.F. Changs

"And there were actually parents livid with me for teaching their children that there was more than one way to think about women."
"To think about women like Marie Curie, or...?"
"Marie Curie or Pam Anderson. All the same. Doesn't matter."
--Two women talking in line at Caribou Coffee

"I remember the first time I met you. You missed all the meetings. Larry was lost without you."
"Oh yes." *coolly*"I didn't realize the time difference."
"Didn't the pilot mention it? 'Thank you for choosing BA, the local time in New York is 8am and the local weather is better than what you're used to?'"
"I took the company plane."
--Two men talking in the lobby of the W Hotel.

--------------------------------
Out in businesstriplandia, but no, of course I'm not staying at the W. I'm certainly using their lovely lobby wireless net, though. Thanks, Starwood.

"I'm saying 'bloated' isn't a problem for a person, but it's a problem for a budget."
--A man talking on a cell phone outside Starbucks

"Do you miss it?"
"Oh, no, we came to Dallas from Ahmedabad twenty three years ago. We are cowboys now!"
--A teenage girl, and a tiny elderly woman, talking at DFW.

"Isn't it funny that by looking hot, you're actually being colder than everyone else?"
--A girl, to her minimally clad female friend at Cafe Nomad.

"What's something horrible that's happened to you lately? Please, let me mine your life for my personal gain."
--One guy to another at Berkeley Bowl

"He disappeared from Google after college. A very annoying quality in a man."
--A girl with a laptop at A Cuppa Tea

"I totally have the first ipod."
"What are you even talking about?"
"Metonymy."
"What? How?"
"Where by 'first', I mean, 'first generation.' Metonymy."
"That's not Metonymy."
"I said one thing meaning another."
"I also do that when I lie."
--A guy and a girl

"Why are you chuckling at Bakersfield? I always thought it was such a nice name for a place. Baker's Field. Like Candyville."
--Kevin Smith, at Zellerbach Hall.

"I never get why they make you take Algebra 1, then Geometry, then Algebra 2. It's like they're trying to make you forget. Like when you're trying to remember a phone number and some ho starts saying '9... 72... 13... 4...' Just like that. I hate Geometry."
"I hate Tammi."
--Two teenage girls at the bus stop on Ashby

"You really don't want me pissing people off right now. I get that." "I don't want you pissing people off ever, and that's what I think you're not getting." --Two guys talking near gate 20 at SFO