"Well, look at it this way at least the herpes will keep you from having drunk sex with an ugly stranger."
"That's true. Gosh, you know how to make anything look better."
-2 girls at Henry Hudson's bar bathroom in Oklahoma City

Why do you find Finland so great? It's so dark and cold.

-- A Belgian radio DJ when interviewing The Rasmus, a band from Finland.

---

I heard this in the car on the way home and it stunned me. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

"Whose Ready to Graduate?"

---flyer for the Class of 2004

"So then my conscience starts talking, and I'm like, 'whatever, shut up.'"
-student speaker during wednesday night church

"so we still on for this saturday?"

"yeah"

another girl comes up and asks "wait you told me that you weren't going shoping this saturday why didn't you tell me you changed your mind?"

"well because i just told you that to not make u pissed at me for not wanting to go with you, so now that you know the truth don't you agree that you were happier BEFORE you knew i lied?"


part of the teeaged drama i witness everyday

"Do you want drunken noodles?"

"Ummm... you mean Noodles Of The Drunk?"

--A loud and rather inebriated girl and her somewhat more circumspect date at the Thai Diner Too in Carytown

"I wanted to see the Holy Grail, but there was a wedding."

"Hmm, crazy Spaniards, always getting married."

"They're catholic like that."

Embarassingly enough, two of my friends and me standing outside the chapel of the holy grail in Valencia, as we tried not to interrupt the first of many weddings we witnessed that weekend.

“I don’t want to have a daughter because one day my friends and I were following this really hot chick. When we got close enough to see her face, it turned out that she was like 12 years old. I don’t want my child to have to deal with perverts like me.”

A coworker explaining, over lunch in a nice restaurant, why he would prefer to have a son.

where i work we have a day/thing called junior member appreciation day, where those of us who have been a part of the company for a limited amount of time, are invited to a picnic as a thanks for putting up with all the crap all the senior people put us through... yeah i know it sounds corny but its a half day and free barbecue.... however i work at a "help-desk" and all the senior people have left to go to the picnic leaving us junior members here to work and answer stupid questions, while they are out enjoying our barbecue and half day..... pfft... junior member appreciation day.... yeah right....

" I used altruistic leverage"
A powerful thing, and, it seemed to me, a great band name.