"And he thinks his stuff is so profound because no one can understand it! I like my poetry because it makes sense!"
--A girl, ranting to her friends in Dwinelle Plaza.

"Jeff, you are the one who just can't understand. You messed up. You hurt me. You don't get to be with me anymore."
"But if you would just listen, I can explain..."
"No. It's over. Accept that."
"Except that what?"
--A girl and a guy, on the sidewalk outside my window

---

And the worst part is, not only can I not help hearing their pain, I can't help thinking "Do they know that they're quoting old 'Friends' episodes?"

"How's today been?"
"Faded."
"What d'you mean?"
"...Don't ask me about this morning. I can't remember."
--Two guys on Sproul Plaza

"I'll have to introduce you to her, she totally looks like Britney Spears... except she's really short. And her hair is kinda pink."
--One girl to another, sitting outside Pimentel Hall

---

...So that's kinda like how my car is just like James Bond's car, except it's purple, and oh, yeah, mine is a bike instead of a car?

"What?!"
"I said was the teacher hurrying you?"
"Oh, I though you said marrying."
--A girl and a guy in the crosswalk at Bancroft and Channing

---

Good to keep those words straight, just in general.

"You ran? You ran in London???"
--An incredulous girl to the guy she was walking with

---

But so long as he wasn't doing it with scissors it was ok, right?

"Noooo, Razor was the original scooter."
--One guy to several others, apparently in an impassioned debate

---

And you know what the great part is? Its offspring and copycats have managed to retain every bit of its utter ridiculousness.

"So why'd you quit?"
"Because if I heard that CD of Kenny G covering TLC's song 'Waterfalls' one more time I was going to go crazy and kill my boss and end up in jail."
--Two girls speaking in complete deadpan

---

Good answer!
And today's lesson is: given the choice of unemployment or incarceration, unemployment is the way to go.

"I should be a humanities major instead. There are hardly any hot chicks in this class."
"Yeah, maybe it'll be better in upper-division."
--Two guys in my computer science class

---

Oh boys... If you only knew. At least in this class, "hot" or not (and that's subjective), the female to male ratio is about 1:2. When you get into upper division, you'll likely be thrilled to see a girl, period.

"Excuse me! I attended that institution, and I find your shirt to be very disrespectful."
--A homeless man, to a cal student wearing a 'Fuck Stanford,' T-shirt