"I don't want to get kicked in the head. That's not my idea of a good time."
-- A guy at the Brand New free concert, Binghamton University, New York

"Wait... what's that?"
"It says it's a portal."
"A portal? Where does it lead?"
"Um... Hell?"
-- Two guys in drafting class, Binghamton University, New York

Zac (reading a fortune cookie): "Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life..."
Joe: "Your happiness is intertwined with my COCK!"

SUNY Binghamton, New York

"I'll tell you something about religion! I'll jab this pen in your eye!"
-- Girl in Watterson Food Court, Illinois State University, Normal, Illinois, to her male dining companion.