14 June 2004
Submitted by eve on Mon, 06/14/2004 - 5:54pm. Funny
"If I were an adolescent girl, I could see wanting to be the Olsen twins." "Which point do we address first here?" --Two 20something guys at Triple Rock
Sorry for the lack of updates recently -- The site's not dead, I've just been busy, and again I've been plagued by the working so much I don't overhear anyone but my coworkers. I've got a good backlog of quotes though, so expect more in the next week.
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Twins & existential angst
Posted by Mike on Thu, 08/12/2004 - 11:15am.
Really, it's gotta be there. Twins have to wonder strange things about their very state of being: Am I the original or the copy? Does my twin know what I'm thinking? Is _____ really my name, or was it my twin's name before we got mixed up by our parents?

I figure that last question applies to all sets of identical twins. The question isn't "Have our parents ever unwittingly mixed us up," it's "were we mixed up an even or an odd number of times?"

Maybe I'm overthinking this.
Posted by Saint on Thu, 08/12/2004 - 1:46pm.
If you want to really overthink it, keep in mind that a slight majority of babies begin as twins, with the stronger twin absorbing the weaker--a sort of embryonic cannibalism. So, as a single, you have to wonder: Was I a twin? Assuming you were, then you also must wonder: If fundamentalists are right, and life begins at conception, am I going to hell for the murder of my sibling? Is my twin going to start growing, like in the Dark Half? Am I the good twin or the evil twin--or do I have to be both, since I absorbed the other one? Did my twin taste more like beef, or pork, or chicken?

My dad and his brother weren't identical twins, but they did look quite similar as children. So Granny used her husband's grease pencil to put a mark on one of the babies, to make sure she knew who was who (apparently she was the only one allowed to know, though, because she insisted on dressing them identically until they got old enough to clearly look different). I'm not sure how long she continued the practice--obviously, it had to stop before the boys were old enough to wash off the old mark and put a new one on the wrong boy.
Posted by Matt on Thu, 08/12/2004 - 4:47pm.
Huh. In that case, I probably "ate" my sibling at some point. I was in utero for 38 weeks and only popped out then because the OB induced labor. My siblings were both induced as well.

At slightly over 11 pounds, I think my mom just got tired of having me hanging around in there. Apparently the obstetrician told her that without labor induction, I would probably have been born sometime during the 40th week, at which point I would've weighed about 12 pounds.

And I'm the first-born.
Labor induction
Posted by Desert Fox on Fri, 08/13/2004 - 9:45am.
Probably your mom doesn't/didn't produce oxytocin, the hormone that makes the uterus contract during labor. It's not that uncommon. My mom had to be induced for my sister and I both. I was finally born a month after my due date. By the time my sister was born two years later, they'd only let a woman go two weeks after her due date before inducing, so my mom was a little luckier that time. Of course, my sister was supposed to be a brother, but that's a whole 'nother story.

My mom is a twin, but she and her twin brother hardly even looked like siblings. My mom is about 5'8" with dark, straight hair, and her twin brother was 6'4" with blond, curly hair.

That twins and lack of oxytocin production are both genetic are two of approximately three zillion reasons that I have no intention of reproducing.


"Life is too short for grief. Or regret. Or bullshit." -- Edward Abbey, Vox Clamantis in Deserto
Induced birth...
Posted by ParU on Fri, 08/13/2004 - 9:38pm.
The other time they induce birth is when the woman's water breaks and they need to have the baby born within 24 hrs to reduce any chance of infection. Which happened with my daughter; fortunately I think she's turned out OK... *g*
It's Amino world without Chemists
Brotherly love
Posted by chica on Thu, 08/12/2004 - 1:27pm.
when i was about 10, my dad finished the upstairs room for me, and i got to move out of the room i shared with my sister into my own room. my brothers decided that chica had moved out, and christened the new girl jane. then, a year or so later, we moved, because we were a navy family. jane was gone, and it was chica again. then, we moved again, and it was jane come back. and so on. to this day, (more years later than i care to figure out) they try to calculate whether they are talking to chica or jane.

big brothers. gotta love 'em. (or they'll hold you down and drool on your face)
"double your pleasure, double your fun . . "
Posted by chica on Tue, 08/10/2004 - 3:55pm.
I had friends in high school, identical twin sisters. one would take the other's math/science tests, while the other took her English/History tests. Teachers never figured it out.

They also traded off on dates, unbeknownst to the guy. This was the test: if he couldn't tell he was out with the other twin, he was history.

Made for good slumber party talk.

oh, and peegee ---> nekkid nekkid nekkid
Love me, love my... uh... other me.
Posted by Mike on Wed, 08/11/2004 - 10:28am.
They also traded off on dates, unbeknownst to the guy. This was the test: if he couldn't tell he was out with the other twin, he was history.
That is SO unfair! Besides, you said one of them preferred history. ;^)
No... just... no.
Posted by Mike on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 7:06am.
I'm sorry but it has to be said: those kids look like trolls. And both of them? Do adolescent girls typically wish they were two people? And if they just want to be one of them, which one? I can't tell them apart, honestly, and they've been on television since they were hideous changeling goblin babies.

Anyway, twins are kind of unnerving, if you think about it. I don't think I'd want one. Not that twins get a choice or anything.

The only proper response to the first guy is to keep drinking your beer.
Posted by daen on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 9:38am.
I think the problem is that they're indistinguishable - how do you choose which of two nearly identical... things... you want to be? So one just refers to "wanting to be the Olsen twins."
Hideous changeling goblin babies?
Posted by Alice on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 8:23am.
-"Anyway, twins are kind of unnerving, if you think about it. I don't think I'd want one."

Well, I think you're safe, because you can't really have just one.
Posted by Penny on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 10:07am.
Well, he (Mike) could have just one. Twin. One twin of Mike.
Posted by Alice on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 10:20am.
Yes, he could have one twin. He just couldn't father one twin.
I see...
When I hear "have a twin" I think of "have" as in "have a baby..." not as in "have a sibling..."

Well, thankfully, it's a bit late for Mike to have one twin brother, and he seems to have no interest in having twin babies.
So we are safe.

for now.
All that closeness would get on my nerves.
Posted by Mike on Tue, 08/10/2004 - 11:02am.
Yeah, what Penny said. The second one. I suppose if I'd had a twin my whole life I'd think differently about it (whatever happened to talshadar, anyway?) but having another me hanging around sounds really bothersome. Not to mention humiliating.

Another downside to being a twin-- well, a twin girl at least-- is the creepy way that some guys expect you to play up the whole faux lesbian angle. What's with all the touching? With your own sister? (*shudder*)
Posted by daen on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 6:30am.
dances for joy

Updates! Such bliss!

But wanting to be the Olsen twins?
Posted by ParU on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 6:13pm.
See, my nagging does have an effect. Sometimes...
It's Amino world without Chemists
Posted by Matt on Sun, 08/08/2004 - 9:25pm.
Guy 1 is just doing what most guys do so well: put themselves deeply into a hypothetical situation, no matter how bizarre, work up a plausible behavior set based upon that scenario, and at the same time maintain inifinite personal emotional distance from the subject.

On the other hand, Guy 2 is probably about to mention something about that Olsen girl's "hospital stay" (I personally believe it's possible or even likely that the rumors about her going through coke rehab are true), plus the fact that multiple websites had the totally squicky Olsen Countdown (until they turn 18), which is a trend that, as far as I know, started with the Britney Spears Countdown.
Posted by hypoxic on Sun, 08/08/2004 - 5:58pm.
That's just scary. It could be ok wanting to bang them as a guy (though a little skeevy) but being them is just wrong.
A little skeevy?
Posted by Alice on Mon, 08/09/2004 - 8:27am.
They weigh a total of 25 pounds! And they're seventeen! They are little elfin children, and aside from the make-up, they look about twelve. I think that's well within the boundaries of Super-skeevy.
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