26 June 2000
Submitted by eve on Mon, 06/26/2000 - 3:32pm. Bizarre
"No WAY is that actually her name-- maybe it's ethnic or something? How do you spell that?"
"No, it really is S-P-R-I-N-K-L-E-S."
"Did her parents smoke crack? I mean, with a name like that the _best_ they can hope for is that she'll grow up to own a Baskin-Robbins... that kind of name belongs on a nudie-show marquee..."
At what point does giving your kid a bad name constitute child abuse?
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Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 09/06/2002 - 5:25pm.
Archived comment by Barry:
D'OH!
Decades ago there was a teacher at Boise High School named Pat Bieter [pronounced "beater"]

He announced one day, to the entire class, that his wife was about to give birth, and that if it was a boy he was going to name the baby "Peter".

My friends and I thought it was just a joke in questionable taste, but he actually did it.

THAT is child abuse.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 09/06/2002 - 5:16pm.
Archived comment by Barry:
Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 06/10/2002 - 4:06am.
Archived comment by Saint:
Where I used to work, the maintenance guy was called Richard Noggin. That wasn't actually his name, you understand, but he did indeed answer to it, especially when it was half-yelled over the PA system. Not the greatest repair man in the world; he forgot to screw in a new part, and it went flying as soon as the machinery was turned on. Ugly.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sat, 04/13/2002 - 2:48pm.
Archived comment by me:
annie sprinles, the porn star, is now an artist.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 04/10/2002 - 6:40pm.
Archived comment by me:
my teacher married a guy names Harold Butts, nicknake Harry.
my other teacher's surname was Head, husband named Richard, whom she called Dick
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 02/24/2002 - 3:52pm.
Archived comment by chris:
Kid in high school I knew......Richard Licker. I think that constitutes abuse without a doubt.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 02/19/2002 - 1:40pm.
Archived comment by Arlene:
there's even a small book out there devoted solely to odd names that people really have. Including the brothers Lemonjello & Oranjello.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 12/26/2001 - 8:54am.
Archived comment by slugbuggy:
More real names: Bride Ann Grooms, Razor Sharp and Dylan Isreal Sharp.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 12/10/2001 - 8:37pm.
Archived comment by Saint:
I went to school with a girl named Patches (probably not a nickname; she had my dad for class, so I know that's how she was enrolled).

But the most unfortunate kid I ever met was a boy whose name I had to write on a cake: Lavander House. The parents pronounced it "laVANder." But still.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 05/30/2001 - 4:15pm.
Archived comment by Obsidiana:
Taffy Fantasia.

It was the name of, like, a 9 year old girl. I thought to myself, that child is destined for porn stardom.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sat, 01/06/2001 - 3:24am.
Archived comment by piggysnort:
If you want a foul name leave it to choice when you select an email address and call yourself whatever you want.
Worst names I have heard are Ophelia Butt and Krustie DeShawn??????
Posted by Anne Onymous on Thu, 01/04/2001 - 11:15am.
Archived comment by smgeek:
Most unfortunate name I ever ran across was someone in my high school named Princess Gurley. That had to hurt...
oh, and Annie Sprinkle's real name is Ellen Steinberg :)
Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 01/02/2001 - 2:39pm.
Archived comment by Katie:
This is absolutely true: My sister works in a public school. A new kindergartener's name was Shithead (pronounced shi - theed). How do you write that on his cubby??
Posted by Anne Onymous on Mon, 12/04/2000 - 9:56pm.
Archived comment by Katja:
Actually, I heard about the unfortunate Dance girl myself, except that her name is Ivanna. Can't believe everything you hear...
Posted by Anne Onymous on Tue, 11/28/2000 - 6:32am.
Archived comment by RoseHawke:
The best one I ever ran across --- absolutely true on the birth certificate --- the last name was "Knight," first and middle "Misty Summer." Talk about destined for porn stardom!
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sat, 11/25/2000 - 6:35pm.
Archived comment by LisaBeth:
I used to babysit a kid named Gunner -- apparently his parents were going to name him Hunter, but thought it was too violent.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 11/19/2000 - 5:31pm.
Archived comment by Billybob:
I knew a kid in school called "John"
As in I need to go and puke in the..
Posted by Anne Onymous on Sun, 11/12/2000 - 9:23pm.
Archived comment by Mike:
I went to high school with a kid named "Thermal."
As in hot, rising air.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 11/08/2000 - 10:37am.
Archived comment by Jeremy:
I assume they were discussing "Annie Sprinkle",
former porn star, now a performance artist and
sex educator (or something like that). I'm
pretty sure it's a stage name.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Fri, 10/20/2000 - 1:02pm.
Archived comment by The Laughing God:
The worst I ever heard was a couple with the last name Dance. They named their poor daughter Yuvanda.
Posted by Anne Onymous on Wed, 10/18/2000 - 3:33pm.
Archived comment by Oedalis:
I *bet* you she was Filipino!!
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