20 February 2004
Submitted by eve on Sun, 02/20/2005 - 1:33pm. Wisdom
"I'm not saying never. I'm just saying, until your job title is something like, 'Snoop's entourage member #6', you can't call them your cizzo-workas. "
--An exasperated guy talking on a cell phone at Andronico's.
11 February 2005
Submitted by eve on Fri, 02/11/2005 - 9:55pm. Beautiful
"Let me put it to you this way, bottom line: if any half of a Jerry Bruckheimer movie makes you cry, you are living a terrible life."
--A guy talking to a couple of guys at Safeway.
5 February 2005
Submitted by eve on Sun, 02/06/2005 - 11:47pm. Beautiful
"So this girl today... she was totally my type."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. She was kinda... early thirties. Not older than 33, and...
" What's that mean? Your type?"
"Well, like, she was kinda earthy and really... she was just original. She had this cardboard horse head on her bike -- so it looked like a horse. And she got on the bus at my stop and we talked and it was just... nice."
--A guy and a girl talking at Amoeba
11 January 2005
Submitted by eve on Tue, 01/11/2005 - 1:33am. Beautiful
"Did you see that? What that Hummer just did? Why do I get moving violations and that guy zooms off?"
"Well, I think that's technically legal. Though not advised, and kind of a dick thing to do. Kind of like driving a Hummer, I guess."
--Two guys talking on Oxford st
30 December 2004
Submitted by eve on Thu, 12/30/2004 - 8:43pm. Beautiful
"Sure, for values of 'neat' that involve you not getting your security deposit back."
--A girl to a guy walking down Fulton st
19 December 2004
Submitted by eve on Sun, 12/19/2004 - 5:38pm. Funny
"When he said he wouldn't recommend French wine out of protest I was like, fine, and I'll have a side of freedom fries to go with that. But then when he said that real mulled wine had pineapple and maraschino cherries in it I was like, dude, go on hating the French. Because they all hate you for what you've done to vin chaud."
--A girl talking to another girl at Andronico's.
1 December 2004
Submitted by eve on Wed, 12/01/2004 - 11:02am. Funny
"People never say, 'oh yeah, remember that cult I was in? I met her there.'"
--A guy talking on a cell phone at SFO
6 November 2004
Submitted by eve on Sat, 11/06/2004 - 2:08pm. Bizarre
"Yeah, I was woken up at 4am when her boyfriend went to the bathroom. I tell you tall guys? Farther to fall, much louder in the bowl. I'm serious."
--A girl talking at the next table over at Tsing Tao
5 November 2004
Submitted by eve on Fri, 11/05/2004 - 1:52pm. Funny
"At first I thought he was high, but it turned out he was just a Scientologist."
"Huh. I don't really know much about them."
"Oh, there's a lot there. I thought you were the religion guru?"
"No, the only unusual religions I really know a lot about are the ones that South Park has made fun of."
--Two guys talking on AC Transit
2 November 2004
Submitted by eve on Tue, 11/02/2004 - 2:41pm. News
You probably don't need me to remind you, but...

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