]> anxious's blog http://www.inpassing.org/blog/view/827 enmy grandmother doesn't go for the real ones either. http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2398 "So I went to my grandfather's house and he had a <i>fake christmas tree</i>. i said grandfather why do you have a fake christmas tree? and he started going off on how so many christmas trees catch on fire and burn down houses every year, and after that he made me watch a <i>video</i> about it."<br /> <br /> --one young girl talking to another on a train bound for new york citysounds like a bushism to me http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2326 "..so i said to him, 'well, are you an american, or an american't?'"<br /> <br /> --lady with slightly southern accent waddling by me with her husband in the Metropolitanwhat would jew do? http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2277 "God! I can't believe our ancestors came over in crappy boats from poland just so you could go to a liberal arts college and eat bacon on yom kippur."<br /> "Actually, it's rosh hashanah, but i know. Like, this whole culture that's been persecuted and mass murdered ends right here in my cinnamon toast crunch."<br /> <br /> --some upperclassmen musing at the table next to me during breakfastmissing the piggy pink point. http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2258 "Der Schinken ist Nicht die seife!"<br /> <br /> --written on the blackboard of my otherwise terribly dry philosophy class. Translated from German it means (according to dictionary.com) "the ham is not soaps"Tonight at 9! I'm so excited http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2256 "Dude, you wanna smoke some pot before the Ninja Turtles Movie?"<br /> <br /> Pause.<br /> <br /> "There's a Ninja Turtles movie?"<br /> <br /> --two kids hovering outside of my dorm doorI guess you goddamn wouldn't, wouldn't you. http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2255 Drama teacher- "Well, hurry up, let's go, you can figure out the rest of it when you do the thing."<br /> <br /> Jesse, kid in my group-- "Okay, would you have said, 'Hey Sophocles, hurry up let's go, you can figure out the rest of Oedipus when you do the thing'??!"<br /> <br /> --In today's drama class, when being forced to do quick improv entirely in greekWhere the hell was I? http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2238 "Don't I know you from somewhere?"<br /> <br /> "I think we've met before..."<br /> <br /> "You were on the phone..."<br /> <br /> "..yes, and you were playing chess."<br /> <br /> --two young adults whispering near me at a poetry readingi wish i could learn how to turn my amor on. http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2191 "if your reading this, your a moron!!!"<br /> --written on the wall of a Cold Stone. I made the appropriate corrections, and drew a little smiley face.carpets of it http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2172 "Hey, Cassie! Your razors don't work well on back hair!"<br /> <br /> a smart aleck boy yelling to his friend across the mall parking lot..at least, i hope he was being a smart aleck.i'll have a pot mix, on the rocks, thanks. http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2171 "well, after smoking or drinking the pot, i usually..."<br /> one of two college boys strolling past me.So does Jesus swing by at quarter to eight? http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2153 "..so tell him to come into work at seven in the morning, you know, when God does."<br /> (overheard while walking past my boss's office)heh http://www.inpassing.org/node/view/2150 "No, no. I'm so gay--I'm gayer than the gayest gay you know."<br /> a rather large young man, in a very serious tone, apparantly using a rocket launcher to come out of the closet.